Bliss of Infinite Love

tumblr_m874jbq3n71r9cfv8

What is lost can also be found,

The love I thought I lost, I found within for me.

Buried deep beneath the pain,

Is the where I found it.

Flowing tears carry away the pain,

Resonating deep within the hollows.

In time when pain subsides,

The resilient heart will flow with love again,

No matter how long the sorrow may last.

Bliss flowing within me and around me,

Energy moving with pulsing force.

Full of light and bliss, I am this love.

No more pain to overshadow.

This is the true miracle of life,

That we bear witness,

From all this life flows,

For I am one with infinite love. ~ Brooke

(Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Through Our Dreams

tumblr_ma9owqwUMm1rrj3pro1_500

Our consciousness or what our minds perceive is not truly our reality.   Our minds reflect what our egos want based on our fears, such as fear of abandonment, being unworthy of love, not being good enough, or being hurt again.   Because of ego’s needs, our minds will distort and twist our reality to deceive us of this reality. Many times, when others tell us a lie, they are not lying to us as they are really lying to themselves.

Recently, I have found that even when I try to suppress my true reality, it will manifest in another way within me.  As I have been trying to overcome my past, I have had dreams that reflect how I truly feel about the people involved in and events of my past.  Even when my ego is hurt and fearful, my dreams or my subconscious reflect something totally different than what I perceive in my conscious state.

When my subconscious speaks to me, I try to heed these messages, and do not disregard them as my ego attempts to do.  My subconscious tells me that there are still unresolved issues that I have failed to address in my conscious life.  As I navigate my spiritual path, I listen to these messages to follow this path to lead me to where I am intended to go.  May you find your path, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Of the Past

tumblr_m8a5ojBUj31r2zs3eo1_400

My past seems far away,

Like a faded photo,

Of unfamiliar faces.

Events from long ago,

In pieces of my memory.

With fading visions.

A blessing of sorts,

When past pain is forgotten,

With scars healed over.

We now say farewell,

To those haunted memories,

And no more tears of sorrow.

For tomorrow brings,

Songs of birds singing,

Sunlight of healing,

And new beginnings.

I give thanks,

For these blessings,

That I have longed to feel. ~ Brooke

(Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Harnessing Creative Energy

tumblr_mm6zy0Sk4d1qcueu9o1_500

Last night was an evening of wonderful creative energy.  I may have mentioned that I am taking guitar lessons as I hope to write some songs for guitar and voice.  After my lesson, I attended a concert with Aoife O’Donovan and her band, who is a singer and song writer with an angelic voice.  After hearing her, I felt  this wonderful create energy that inspired me to write music.

Recently, I have felt this wonderful creative energy flowing through me as I have released so much emotional pain stored in my painbody.  Much of this release resulted after I acknowledge my past emotional history, and took responsibility and forgave myself for my past.  This part of our emotional growth is critical in releasing the emotional pain we may have suppressed that takes courage and honesty to face our reality as unpleasant as it may be.

After releasing this emotional pain, I began to feel my Kundalini energy flowing more fluidly and smoothly through my energy body resulting in the feeling of more creative energy. When we harness this creative energy, we are able to learn to play and create music, express ourselves through dance, and create beautiful art.  As I continue to heal, I feel myself moving more to my creative side as I continue to write music, dance tango, and create art through glassblowing.

This creative energy feels liberating and blissful as I feel it move through me, and my life begins to flow in beautiful and serene waves with the Universe. May you feel your creative energy wtihin, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Forgiveness and Our Behaviors

Image

In an earlier post on forgiveness a reader commented as follows:

“yes, first in forgiving yourself acknowledge that you caused harm, the forgiving yourself only being meaningful If you then proceed to right the harm you caused even if it costs to you great.”

I believe the concept of forgiveness is misunderstood by many in the spiritual community.  I have observed many who continue to seek forgiveness for themselves and from others, but continue to behave toward others in the exact same manner failing to change their own behaviors, and only asking others to change their perspectives about them.  They engage in prayers on forgiveness and compassion, but miss the whole point of forgiveness that is to right the wrongs they have committed against others.

In these circumstances, we may be able to forgive them for the past harms they caused to us, but we are unlikely to tolerate future harms they continue to cause as they have failed to change their hurtful and selfish behaviors that continue to harm others.  Until our behaviors change to right the wrongs we have caused, forgiveness becomes merely a word that we say that has no true meaning behind it.

When we hurt others, true forgiveness of ourselves comes from genuine changes in our behaviors that  translates to our sincerity to treat others with honor, respect, and love in the future.  May you find true forgiveness within you, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Stages of Healing Emotional Pain and Loss

tumblr_m34anqfSKx1qfrblmo1_400

My journey of healing my emotional pain has given me some insights into this experience.  What I have found is that emotional pain is stored in our energy body, called the painbody.  This emotional pain is suppressed by most people, thereby creating layers of pain within our energy body.  For some of us, this pain is directed inward toward ourselves causing depression, anxiety, self doubt, self inflicted injuries (suicide, cutting, etc.), and other mental disorders, as well a physical ailments such as heart attacks, ulcers, head aches, and other more serious medical conditions.  This pain also can be directed outwardly towards others in the form of rage, anger, irrational behaviors, abuse of others, resentment, jealousy, envy, and even violence.

In order to heal this emotional pain, we must re-experience this pain from our past in our current life in a safe and nurturing environment that we can create for ourselves.  This technique is called “Emotional Release Practice” that I share on this tab on my Blogsite Homepage.  There are stages to healing this emotional pain and loss in our lives although we may experience them in a different order by different people. They are as follows:

Denial: During the denial stage, we are unwilling or unable to face this emotional pain and loss in our lives, so we avoid it. For me, this happened for a good part my life in that I could not feel the emotional pain although I consciously was aware of what happened to me during my childhood.

Anger: Once we overcome denial, we are face to face with the hurt or trauma in our lives from our emotional pain and loss.  We go through a period of blaming those who hurt us, or we may even blame ourselves for what happened, as this pain can be difficult to experience initially. Some of this anger may be directed outwardly towards those close to us.  Many may be uncomfortable with anger and may get stuck at this stage, and unable to move forward to healing their past emotional pain.

Bargaining:  During bargaining, we negotiate with a higher power to take away this emotional pain, or we may negotiate with ourselves to do anything else to avoid this emotional pain.  We may also negotiate with ourselves to re-experience this pain, so as to end this process as soon as possible.

Depression:  At this stage, we feel helpless and powerless and overwhelmed with sadness about the loss that we are experiencing that is at the root of our emotional pain. This is the stage we grieve for our loss that we must acknowledge, and let those close to us know that we are grieving.  This is the stage where we actually release the emotional pain we have stored in our painbody.   Just know that as with all emotions, this will pass with time.   

Acceptance: When we have completed the above stages where some of them may be repeated, we will finally come to acceptance of our loss, and the emotional pain within our painbody will be released.  We then will accept what this loss from our past has taught us and this life experience that we were intended to have for our lives.  Finally, we will let go of our past, and find peace.

This is not an easy process to heal our emotional pain, and deal with our emotional loss in our lives, but it is an inevitable part of emotional healing, and well worth the time and effort.  When the emotional pain finally is released, we will experience a very different life and a peaceful existence.  May you find this peace in your life, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Outgrowing Emotional Dependency

tumblr_mbr7wsW5YX1ri0hnao1_400

With my recent emotional healing process,  I have finally outgrown my emotional dependency of others and rely on my higher self.  This has been an arduous path as I imagine this experience to be similar to children leaving home for the first time.  Because of my dysfunctional childhood history, I never truly grew up and left home emotionally. Even after I left my parents’ home, I continue to form dependencies with boyfriends, my ex-husband, friends, and others.  This emotional dependency kept me a prisoner in the jail I created for myself.

Since practicing emotional release and observing ego work, I have begun to grow up emotionally and learned to follow my higher self as my guide. Growing up emotionally means to stand on our own two feet without depending on another, whether on a parent, parental figure, partner, or friend. It is being able to sooth and comfort ourselves when things get hard in our lives, resolving our own problems, and healing ourselves without the dependency of another.   There is nothing wrong with sharing our experiences with others because it is sharing our lives, but we simply do not need another to survive.

In the past, when I had difficulties, I felt the need to run to someone to help me whether to comfort me, to resolve my problems, or to seek protection.  Now, I no longer need this from another.  After extensive self esteem work through healing my emotional wounds, I began to realize that I do not need another for any of these above-mentioned things.  I am now strong enough to comfort myself from harm or hurt in my life, have the skills to resolve my own problems, and finally, I have the confidence to protect myself without another’s help.

When I share my life with others now, it is out of want since others may enrich and enhance my life and not out of need.  When we reach this place of independence and self sufficiency, we have finally grown up emotionally.  May you find emotional growth in your life, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Distinguishing tolerance and friendships

tumblr_mh0dexrkTD1rzsmfxo1_500

In the spiritual community, there is much discussion about tolerance and acceptance of others.  I would like to distinguish between tolerance and acceptance of others for purposes of coexistence and choosing them as our friends.  There is a big distinction between these two things.  In an non-egoic world, we can all coexist, since we no longer engage in ego battles with others, and jealousy, envy, resentment, anger, and greed would be a thing of the past.  However, when do we consider these individuals our trusted friends?

In order to allow others within our trusted circle, there are additional factors to consider than tolerance of another.  They must possess characteristics that we share, admire, and respect in our friendships.  For example, I look for loyalty, honesty, kindness, courage, and genuineness.  There are many in this world who we tolerate and accept as they are although we do not admire or respect them.  They may be coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, and even relatives.

However, I do not consider these individuals my friends.  Friends are people we allow into our inner circle of trust.  Since I grew up in a dysfunctional family, I have had great difficulties choosing my friends, and I allowed many, who did not deserve, to enter my inner circle of trust.  As I began to heal my emotional wounds from my past, I am choosing my friendship very carefully now.  Because my self-esteem has improved, I do not need to be everyone’s friend and do not need for everyone to be mine.  Sending love and light to you, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Mirroring Jealousy

tumblr_m85rwhyBu81r0fx0po1_400

This morning as I ate breakfast with friends, I kept sensing jealousy and resentment from one of the woman in the group. I couldn’t figure out why.  After returning home, I realize that I sensed this jealousy and underlying anger because I still mirror this within me.  Jealousy or the feeling of not being good enough has been one of the most difficult issues that I have had to overcome in my emotional healing work. I felt jealous of my mother because my father sexually abused me as a child and created this distorted and dysfunctional dynamic between me and my mother.  Because my mother is emotionally ill, she was unable to stand up to my father about the abuse, but blamed me for it as did my father.

During most of my life, I have had this very strange and competitive dynamic with other women.  I also have attracted many emotional ill or unstable women into my life.  This is where I am in my emotional healing work to overcome this dynamic from my past with my mother as it translates to relationship with other women in my life now.  It is important for me to stop this dynamic of jealousy and competition.  The reason there is this dynamic is because I don’t feel good about myself in some way, and the other woman feels the same.   I need to heal this part of me to overcome these feelings within me, so that I no longer seek and attract this dynamic into my life.

I believe the key here is to overcome the anger toward my mother for competing with me when she should have been the nurturer and loving mother in my life.  I must forgive her for failings as a mother, and for competing with me when she should have supported and protected me during my childhood abuse.  When I can finally forgive her, I will overcome this unhealthy dynamic with other women in my life.   May you find healing within, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)