We are the invalids,
Wounded and hurt within.
Standing with crutches in hand,
Throughout our lives.
For fear of letting go,
As we may fall without them.
We find those to lean on,
For fear of being alone.
When healing our wounds,
We find strength to forge forward.
Every step is ginger,
Until we can walk alone.
Tears of pain may find us,
But there is courage within.
We find our inner strength,
And our higher self to guide us. ~ Brooke
(Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
As the world rests,
Let me brush your hair,
From your weary face.
Your pensive eyes sparkling,
Filled with tears.
Melancholy are your thoughts,
Mourning the pain and loss.
Fear not for the loss of the past,
Is building your future,
As rebirth of the new,
Is from the death of the old.
All will be revealed,
Through forgiveness and acceptance.
After all the tears have been shed,
And the heart no longer aches,
You shall find the salvation that you seek,
Unveiled through the clouds.~ Brooke
(Copyright 2013 kundalini spirit with all rights reserved)
For every step forward, there are two steps back, as the saying goes. After I finally stabilized somewhat over the issues involving my father, I am working on my issues involving my mother. Her issues are hard for me because my mother suffers from mental illness, so it’s easier to forgive her for her past actions. Nevertheless, she caused great fear in me when she became angry and out of control with throwing things and physically striking me out of rage. She also was paranoid believing that others were out to get her and hurt her, so she would emotionally strike back at me with mean and cruel statements when she perceived that I was out to hurt her.
These are hard issues as I have tried to suppress much of this fear of physical and emotional abuse storing so much of this pain in my painbody. With so much repressed pain in my painbody, I have attracted many women with controlling, competitive, irrational, and erratic behaviors into my life. Some of these mentally ill women exhibited these similar traits.
When i began working on these issues, I recognize that I have tolerated these behaviors from these women as I have become habituated to being treated in a certain negative way. It’s an addiction the pain resulting from these negative treatments. As I interact with them, I have felt pain, and understand that it is the pain within my own painbody that caused me to react to these women. This is the pain within me, and as long as this pain remains within me, I will continue to attract the same in the future. Healing light and love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
After over two years of trying to heal my past, I have experienced a new emotional state of being. The biggest difference emotionally is that in the past, people, circumstances, and places that remind me of my past triggered my egos’s negative emotions, fears, and feelings of loss. Now, I feel more neutral in that I am no longer triggered. When we are emotionally unhealed from our past trauma., we still feel these negative emotions, although with awareness we can stop ourselves from reacting to them.
My whole goal in my emotional healing work is to get to this point of healing and stability. Recently, I have come to to realize that pain whether emotional or physical is our body’s way of telling us something is wrong. Pain is an indicator of what we must avoid or stop doing. The example is as children we put our finger on the stove to find out we can get burned. We learn never to do that again,
Emotional pain works the same way. If we feel emotional pain, we want to stop whatever we are doing that causes the pain. I believe we need to look at the causes or the root of this emotional pain. When I determine the root cause then I realize that this is where I need to work on in my emotional release practice. You can find the details of this practice at “Emotional Release Practice” tab on my Blogsite homepage. Love and light, Brooke (copyright 2013 kundalini spirit with all rights reserved)
After many years of being married, and now divorced. I cherish my aloneness. I believe I got married for fear of being alone and needed protection as a result of my childhood abuse. I am in a very different place now that I am strong enough emotionally to protect myself. My life is filled with good friends, fun interests, joy of working with college students, and I am generally living a fulfilling life. I am reluctant to give up this freedom to be with another. I lost myself in my marriage that was a sad realization for me.
I understand how many may choose to be alone with themselves. I no longer have a need to couple that is very different from my life earlier. It is growing up emotionally for me that has allowed me to feel this independence and living without fear. It is very liberating to finally live under my own terms instead of living under the fear created by my ego and reacting to it. It is like being released from prison and never to return. How beautiful is that? Love and light.
In darkness is where I seek light,
To warm my heart full of wounds.
Pain that has become familiar,
And part of who I am.
Knowing there is a brighter place,
To rest my weary head.
Through mountains and valley deep,
The road seems endless and rough.
Path paved with stones and rushing rivers to cross,
On the waiting shore is a reflection of me.
A new life my soul is meant to live,
I seek this shore in my dreams.
With prayers to bring me safely there,
Where I will land is a mystery.
For I am my own companion,
Finding my path forward,
With love and compassion in my heart,
I shall find the peace I seek. ~ Brooke
(Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights reserved)
Last night, I had a discussion with a friend about whether we can change our souls. My belief is that a soul is born into this world, and our souls are who we truly are within. I believe that we can change our behaviors and beliefs, but that our souls remain the same. My friend believes that we can change who we are fundamentally, that is if we are selfish people, we can change to be more giving people. I am not sure that we actually disagree with each other.
Since I have memories of past lives, I have known others who I have met in this lifetime. What I have observed is that the soul remains essentially the same as I remember them in an earlier lifetime. I have observed that in their spiritual practice in this lifetime they are attempting to change some of their behaviors. What is amazing to me is that their values and behaviors in the earlier lifetime are very similar to their values and behaviors in this lifetime.
The soul has a personality, beliefs, and behaviors intrinsic to each soul. Our soul’s personality remain essentially the same, but it is the beliefs and behaviors that we may alter or change. However, with that said, I believe that it takes great efforts and determination to change those beliefs and behaviors. Many people say that we are who we are, and there certainly is some truth to this. I certainly don’t have all the answers. Any thoughts out there? Blessings of light, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)