Learning to Build Trust

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As a person who suffered from childhood abuse, I am learning to trust others as an adult now.  What I have learned about trust with others is that trust is a two way street.  We can love others unconditionally, but we cannot trust others unconditionally. It is earned, and we must show our trustworthiness to those we love before we can expect them to trust us.

My childhood was wrought with distrust as I was abused by my parents. My father also had countless affairs, deceived, and betrayed my family. This left a lingering pain of distrust within me about men, and their selfish needs to fulfill their egos. This has caused deep distrust within me in my relationships, resulting in conflicts and failed relationships.   

As I am now trying to learn to trust, I am beginning to give others a chance to build this trust with those who can show me honesty and openness without fear. I am beginning to learn that trust is possible when we give those we love a chance to show me that they are trustworthy.  This is huge progress for my emotional growth, and shows that I have the ability to live beyond my past emotional history. May you learn to trust in your life, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Attachments or Values?

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Recently, I have had to look into the idea of attachment or emotional dependency, and how it really works in real life.  In spiritual practice, we seek non-attachment where we do not control or possess those we love.  In many of our relationships, we face jealousy, envy, and resentment. These negative emotions create conflicts and discord in our relationships with others.

Many say that in order to have true non-attachment, we must be willing to allow those we love to engage in emotional intimacy and sexual relationships with others or what we understand as co-creation with others outside of our marriage or long term relationship if our partners wish to do so.  For those of us who choose monogamy, what happens then?  Is monogamy counter to spiritual practice?

I believe that monogamy and polyamorus relationships are values, not attachment.  When both people share the same value, both make a free choice to stay monogamous, not out of forced control or possession by their partner, but based on each partner’s free will.  When both decide they want to cease this monogamous relationship with each other, they both may move onto other monogamous relationships.

As with the Bible, the interpretation of spiritual practice may be interpreted in many different ways by many different people. So as with the concept of non-attachment, we can lose our values in the mist of trying to meet these interpretations.  My guidance is following my own beliefs and trying to act within my highest potential during my spiritual journey.  Blessings on your journey, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Path of Ego v. Higher Self

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We all have free will to decide the course of our lives and path we choose.  The decisions made by our higher selves result in blessings and the choices of our ego result in life lessons.  So how do we know when the decisions are made by our higher self or ego?   It can get very confusion if we don’t have awareness when we are making these decisions.

The guideline I use is whether the decisions are for benefit or detriment.  If our decisions are for self gain that will hurt or take advantage of others, this is likely the choice of ego.  If our decisions are for self protections or service to others, this is likely the choice of the higher self.  There have been moments in my life where I wanted a particular outcome out of desire, dependency, greed, selfishness, or other negative basis then I know this is based in ego.  The higher self, on the other hand, will make decisions based on compassion, kindness, unconditional love, selflessness, or in the highest potential.

The ego’s drive is very strong and sometimes, the ego will deceive us by making us believe it is the choice of the higher self giving justifications, excuses, and defenses.   Be very weary of these deceptions by ego as you may hear a voice saying that you need this more than others, that you deserve this, that it really isn’t hurting anyone,that you are only trying to help others, or this is for love so it’s okay.  This is the illusion of ego so ask yourself, am I making this decision based on my highest potential and from a positive basis? We must seek the truth, and be truly honest with ourselves when making our decisions so we live at our highest potential for our lives. May you be guided by your higher self, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Healing Karmic Pain

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Through my emotional healing work, I have come to learn so much about pain. I earlier wrote about how emotional pain is stored in layers within our painbody that is part of our energy body, including chakras.  As I work through these layers of pain, I find the upper layers, that are more recent, are easier to release, and the ego observation and emotional release practices appear to be very effective in releasing this more recent pain.

Recently, I have reached layers of karmic pain from many past lives and current life that are more stubborn and difficult to release. This karmic pain is related to our karmic past with other souls or situations. This is how my karmic pain feels.  It comes up as very strong fear like a surge, but it builds over the course of several hours culminating in a panic attack.  This emotional pain is triggered from events in my current life that reminds me of these past experiences as most emotional pain is triggered in this way.

The first step in dealing with this powerful fear is awareness of how it is triggered, and how is feels in your energy body.  Ego observation practice appears to be the key in coping with this fear just to stabilize it, so it doesn’t overwhelm us making us react.  When you have subdued this fear and the fight or flight feelings have subsided, then begin the emotional release practice to let go of this karmic pain. I will be using Reiki in the near future to try to release this karmic pain as well, and will report back then.  Blessings of healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Lesson about Life Lessons

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During my spiritual journey, I have encountered many going through the same process.  Through these encounters, I have learned a valuable lesson.  The lesson is this.  We all must do our own emotional healing and spiritual work, and no one can do the heavy lifting for us.  We may not want others who we care about to be injured or hurt through their life lessons in that we try to rescue them from themselves, but everyone must learn their life lessons and there are no short cuts.  This is the nature of life lessons as it will hurt and through this process, we grow up.  Some call this tough love, and others call this growing pains.

We all have free will and through this free will, we make decisions for our lives. The decisions that are in our highest become blessings while decisions not in our highest become life lessons.  In my personal experience, only I can experience these life lessons, and instill these lessons into my own life and change my own behaviors.  We rarely believe other’s experiences or life lessons.  We must each learn our life lessons ourselves.

When we encounter others who are struggling, the kindest and most compassionate thing to do is to allow them to experience their life lessons as they are intended to experience them.  We must as bystanders surrender to the process without getting involved, but only to serve as guides or advisers when solicited.  These are my lessons learned through my failed attempts to rescue others.  Blessings on your journey, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Freedom

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Letting go of our pain,

Allows us to outgrow our past.

What we needed before,

No longer keeps us imprisoned,

As the door is unlocked.

We live in our illusion,

With those who convince us,

That this illusion is real.

As we ascend,

We awake to the truth,

Seeing past the blinders,

And accepting our reality.

This revelation may be bitter,

And the realization may sting,

But finally the freedom is ours.- Brooke

(copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with all rights reserved)

Creating Our Realites

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This week has been about learning to create my own reality.  When my Kundalini energy rose, I realized that I have the ability for clairvoyance that is manifested through seeing visions while I am awake.  I have seen parts of my own future and past lives in these visions, but my life then was inconsistent with these visions.  Even if you don’t have intuitive skills, we all have certain hopes and dreams for our future, so use those as your guide.  

Before my Kundalini rose when I began my ascension work, I lived a sad, lonely, painful, and loveless existence. Trauma from my childhood in this lifetime, and karma from my past lives resulted in this existence, and my suffering was great.  I found others equally unhappy living in this existence in their lives, and we had an unspoken agreement to continue this suffering and unhappiness together. In fact, this was what attracted me to them.

As I began ascension work through emotional release and ego observing practice while using my higher self as a guide, I began to go through stages of grief and loss and slowly with each day, I let go of the pain, suffering, and unhappiness from my past and I gave up my past.  Recently, I am seeing the fruits of my labor, as my visions for my future are beginning to come true.  These blessings are truly a miracle in my life, and my gratitude for all these blessings are eternal.  May you create your own reality, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)