“There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.”
— Anaïs Nin, Journals Of Anais Nin Volume 3
Addiction manifests in many ways. It can be through use of alcohol, drugs, sex, love, work, food, etc. What is common for all addiction is that it is intended to mask pain we experience. Addiction can be used to block past or present emotional pain. What I have observed is that this pain can be triggered through failure, rejection, disappointment, or failure to meet our expectations.
In every addict, there exists unresolved past emotional pain. The more we try to repress the pain, the more the pain will be triggered. Our past emotional pain can be triggered by present life experiences. The addiction is just a way of repressing this pain. The key to overcoming addiction is not only to give up the addiction, but to resolve the underlying emotional pain. This is the more difficult part of overcoming addiction as we must face our emotional past.
For instance, I was abused by my father. Therefore, I felt unsafe, emotionally rejected, abused, and taken advantaged of by my father. As an adult, fear of rejection and feeling unsafe ruled my life, and my addiction covered them up. I began emotional release practice nearly three years ago to heal my fears of feeling unsafe and rejection. I no longer resort to my addiction as I longer feel these fears. To try my “Emotional Release Practice,” please see this tab on my Homepage Blogsite. Healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
“You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately,
we see what we want to see when we’re ready to see it.” — Unknown
As children, we first believe we have the perfect parents. Then, we find that they are human and flawed. As we grow up, we find out that our parents may have hurt us, or even abused us. Somehow, we always hold out this hope of being loved by our parents the way all children deserve. For those of us who never received this kind of love, we seek this love through our authority figures, lovers, partners, and friends as adults.
For me, I constantly sought this love through my partners and lovers, as my father abused me as a child. I always sought this love through others, as I never received the love I hope to receive from my father. As I proceed through my emotional healing work, I realized now that in order to overcome all this sorrow and pain in my life, I must give up this dream of being loved by my father.
It is a difficult dream to give up as every child wants so desperately to be loved, and as adults, we live with this void in our lives. Giving up this dream means accepting our parents for who they are, flawed and human. My parents made many mistakes and hurt my family. But in giving up this dream, we forgive and accept them as humans. In letting go of this dream, we let go of the pain we have held onto for so long. We surrender to the events of our past, and let go of the hope of a different outcome with our parents.
When we do, we no longer live in a fairy tale of the perfect family with perfect parents. We live in our reality with our truth, although imperfect and flawed, it is nevertheless, our life. Sending healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
Many times in life, what we fear the most also makes us the happiest. This perceived fear is our limitation to emotional and spiritual growth. What I have learned is that this perceived fear specifically is the fear of failure and of being hurt again. We avoid so many things that can make us happy, but because of this fear of failure or being hurt, we are willing to give up true love, a new career, a new business venture, or trying something new in our lives.
Fear is caused by our egos, and if you are still experiencing this fear then you have not yet released your ego. Whenever I have an opportunity to begin or try something new, I always ask myself, am I turning down this opportunity because of my perceived fear? Many times it still is. Releasing ego occurs in stages, one cannot release ego all at once. I have observed those who have been on their spiritual journey for a long time while experiencing awakening, but they are still being ruled by their egos.
If you are interested in releasing ego work, please see the “Observing Ego Practice” tab on my Blogsite Homepage for this practice. As we release our egos, our limitations become fewer and fewer, and we can accomplish amazing miracles that we never knew was possible. Blessings on your journey, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
This spiritual path can be a lonely place where we must face our life as it is, with all our demons and ugliness. We realize that those we love may have failed us, but haven’t we done the same by letting ourselves down? This path that can feel so lonely at times as we must travel alone to see what is real before us by facing and confronting all of it head on.
Sometimes, it is easier to avoid what is difficult to face about ourselves and just focus on the positive things, but this does not truly lead to healing. It is a band aide to our problems and no true healing occurs emotionally or spiritually. We have had a snow storm here for the past two days that has allowed me time to really reflect upon my life and myself. I don’t avoid the unpleasant parts of my life anymore. The result is that I am letting go of the illusion that I have created for myself in that I am a victim, that others take advantage of me, and that others hurt me.
I have really looked at my own life without illusion or distortion as I know this is the true path to healing. I take responsibility for my own life now, face the decisions I have made in m life, and take power in determining the outcomes for my own life. It takes great courage to do this as it is easier to pretend and continue to live in our illusions that we have created for ourselves and that others around us conspire to cover up the truth by perpetuating this illusion.
To reach this place, we must walk through fire, but on other side is self love and peace that we have never known before. May you find this place in your life, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
I talk about self love and forgiveness quite a bit on my blog. On this Valentine’s Day, a day about love, it is most appropriate to a talk about true love and what that means. I believe true love is about finding that unconditional love within for ourselves, and it is a day to forgive ourselves and those we love for all our past hurts and grievances.
I have never truly unconditionally loved anyone before I began my spiritual journey. All the love I experienced was based on fear, and conditional on not being abandoned. I feared losing that love, and being alone in my life. Until we find this unconditional love within for ourselves, and not rely on this love externally, we will always be in fear. Unconditional love cannot be found outside of us, as human we will always let others down as we are flawed. We must find this unconditional love within ourselves.
When we can find it within to forgive ourselves for all our flaws, mistakes, and hurts we caused others after we change our hurtful behaviors, this is how we unconditionally love ourselves. We begin to learn to truly forgive others for hurting us, and we begin to heal all the emotional wounds we have been harboring for many soul lives. It is this process of forgiveness that allows us to become whole emotionally and spiritually, and this is loving ourselves.
This process is difficult as we must first acknowledge those emotional wounds, and we may need to re-experience the pain from our past before we can find this unconditional love within for ourselves. I use “Emotional Release Practice,” found on this tab on my Blogsite Homepage. What I have found to be the most difficult in all this is learning to forgive myself for my flaws, past mistakes, and hurts I caused others. But all this is part of the path to self love, and I am well on my way. Healing love to you on this Valentine’s Day, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)
For Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I think it is appropriate to talk about the most important kind of love, self love. I am learning self love now in my life, and what I have learned is that before we can love others, we must learn to love ourselves. Part of that self love is our own acceptance of ourselves. For many years in my life because of my childhood trauma and my life experiences, I loathed myself as I was told that I was unworthy and a bad person. Then I projected these beliefs upon myself, and perpetuated and allowed others to treat me in hurtful ways.
As I progressed in my own emotional recovery, I believe now that I am worthy, and am comfortable in my own skin. I am who I am, and no longer feel ashamed or unworthy. Before others can respect us, we must respect ourselves and do not apologize for who we are. I am proud of who I have become in that I realize I may be flawed and have made mistakes in my past. I acknowledge my flaws and mistakes and try to change my hurtful behaviors, but I am still worthy of being loved.
I feel liberated being who I am now, and no longer try to hide my past, my childhood, or my life from others. I am very open and honest about where I have come from, and where I am going. Once we accept our life as everything happened exactly as it should have happened, we have no regrets, and we are at peace with our own life. May you find self love through acceptance, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)