Seeing Beyond What You Can See


I am now living a life beyond where I ever been before, and never seen before.  It is a life beyond ego, fear, and hurt. It is infinite and wondrous.  When we heal ourselves and release ego, our world is different, we feel different, and our lives begin to become the one we imagined in our dreams.  I have found this place, not just a glimmer of it, but living it.

I see others through different lenses as the slight, rejection, and hurt of the past remains the past. There are no more arguments and conflicts to engage, as the emotional wounds are mending and no longer raw and tender.  The drama, chaos, and frenetic life turn into peace, harmony, and love.  No longer does fear run and rule my life.

In my external world, I am putting down root, and I give other the space to heal and mend emotionally without fear.   My chaotic work environment suddenly becomes peaceful and calm.  Even in the crisis oriented job I have, I am peaceful within, better able to help others, and am able to love others who have been injured.

This place where I have landed is beyond where I could see earlier, and never have I imagined myself being here.  The emotional healing work from the past four years have come to fruition, and I reap the benefits now of the hard work all the while facing my worst fears. I am so grateful, as I am bestowed this heavenly gift from the Divine, and as I witness a true miracle. (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)


Avoiding Pain


Healing Promotes Compassion


After a major release of a sacra/root chakra blockage recently, I have felt distinct changes within my emotional landscape.   The most distinctive changes are that I don’t feel easily slighted, and I don’t take others’ actions as a rejection of me.  Even if they are a rejection of me, I don’t seem to care very much as it is more about them than it is about me.  This new perspective has eased my daily life with less internal turmoil resulting in less external drama.

When we no longer feel this internal turmoil, it is much easier to give compassion to and have tolerance of others.  I have begun to engage with very difficult and emotional hurt people with less and less reaction as my internal turmoil have subsided, and thus, less drama with others as there are less to argue over and fewer disagreements.  I have realized that most conflicts occur in this manner.

From time to time, twinges of hurt still rise up, but I am so very aware of it.  When this occurs, I observe the negative emotions coming up, and quickly release them. As I come into contact with difficult people more and more regularly, I am actually confronting my fears in dosages with the hope that someday, I will no longer react to my fears of feeling rejected and being hurt again.  With this type of exposure, I am finding compassion for others becoming easier and easier.  May you find healing in your life. (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)

Facing My Truth

tumblr_lh7it1UHSu1qcac66o1_400_largeThis is has been a period of reflection of what still remains unhealed in my emotional landscape.  What I have found is not always what I am happy to uncover.  Within my landscape still remains fear of trust, fear of being hurt, and fear of rejection.  These are all emotions that humans feel, but for me, it has triggered anxiety and panic in my relationships.  My instinct is to run away from my fears, and they appear to just return with the next relationship and so on, and so on.  But this is my emotional landscape and what I must come to accept and overcome.

In the last few days, I began to face my past fears.  I vowed to change my life so I can have healthier and more loving relationships, and I wish for this with every ounce of my being.   I know deep in my heart that this is possible for me, and I can envision a very different life for myself where I am trusting, loving, and living without fear.  When I awoke yesterday after a night of energetic releases, a blockage in my sacral/root chakra dissolve. I  felt completely differently the next morning where I felt lighter, freer, and less burdened.

My past of feeling unworthy and unlovable began to fall away, and my fears of rejection and being hurt again also began to dissipate.  I realized that my emotional responses to others has little to do with others and more to do with what still remains unhealed within my emotional landscape.  If I feel slighted by another, it is because I feel unworthy within.  If I feel that I can’t trust my loved ones, it is because I fear being hurt or rejection.

It is coming to this realization that we are able to move forward and heal our emotional wounds in order to have a different life.  The first step to emotional recovery is recognizing what is still unhealed within ourselves, then we can do the hard work of confronting and healing those past wounds.  (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)

The Secret to Learning to Trust


I have found the secret to learning to trust as this is a huge hurdle for me. It is the willingness to open ourselves and hearts to others, and give our intentions that we will trust our loved ones by letting go.  It really has little to do with what another does or doesn’t do.  We must be willing to take that first step of trusting our loved ones by letting go of fear, anxiety, and feeling out of control. It is this simply.

This is what I have learned in this new stage of my healing process. I am confronting my worst fear that is intimacy and allowing someone I love into a very private and protected space in my heart.  I allow very few people into this space, and when they get too close, I begin to have a panic and anxiety attacks.  I clench my teeth and fist, close my eyes and hold on for dear life.  This is an old instinct.

What I have learned is the only way to move past this fear of feeling out of control is simply to let go. It takes great courage and faith that everything will be okay.  It’s like jumping out of an airplane as you can rationalize all day about how safe it is with a parachute and harness.  However, the bottom line is that it takes courage and faith to jump of of that plane, and your belief that you can do it!

This is where I have landed, seemingly like falling out of the sky with a parachute strapped to my back, and I just jumped.  There is a part of me that believes that all will be fine, and I will survive my jump.  So, just let go, have courage and faith, leave behind your fears, and make room for something better! (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)

What Remains Unhealed

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Sometimes, we are brought gifts into our lives when we don’t even realize it.  Through encounters with people and events, we are shown what still remain unhealed within us.  When we first come to this realization, we deny this to ourselves and refuse to believe this about ourselves.  As time settles in and as an awakened person, I begin to see what still remains unhealed within me with great clarity.

This has been my recent experience involving my soul mate who I met four years ago and mirrors me down to the last emotional fracture.  He reflects back what is still unhealed within me with such clarity that it shocks me sometimes. This reflection can be difficult to accept about myself, still fearful and injured.  Who wants to admit this about ourselves?

After each of our encounters and connections, I return to my difficult emotional work of understanding why these emotional fractures still remain.  What is causing these fears?  Why am I still reacting in this way?  With each interaction, it is getting easier and easier and my letting go is getting faster and faster.

Much of what I say to him or accuse him of doing, I am really talking to myself in the mirror.  My reactions to our interaction are caused by what still remains unhealed within me.  When I began to perceive my world in this way, I am now able to identify my own issues more easily without going through 10 years of therapy to figure it out.  Our soul mates are brought to us to help us understand about ourselves and mirror back to us what we must pay attention to in order to change our lives.  It does, however, feel like a cold smack in the face sometimes. (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)