Today, I interviewed a victimized student of dating violence at the college where I work. This student told me that she was still dating the accused, and that she was more concern about his well being than herself because of the trauma he experienced in his life. As I spoke to her, I realized that she sees herself as the hero/rescuer, instead of someone who was victimized.
During our conversation, it became apparent that she was simply unaware of the dangers of being re-victimized as this is the typical cycle of abuse of abuse, reconciliation, and abuse again. She told me that she was going to help her boyfriend overcome his trauma, and I explained that she cannot make him better, but he must want to recover and do his own emotional work.
The phenomenon of hero/rescuer can happen to all of us. We believe that we are more powerful than we really are, must rescue others out of compassion and empathy, and rescuing others also bolster our own self esteem. However, the hero/rescuer phenomenon have many pit falls, as we focus on another’s emotional and psychological problems instead of our own. We also get dragged down into the darkness of those we attempt to rescue, as we simply cannot change or heal anyone else, so we essentially live through their darkness.
The hero/rescuer is typically one with low self esteem and likely have faced trauma as children or adults. The compassion and empathy also is misplaced as truly healed individuals understand that trying to control or manipulate another into healing or change simply will not work. We can only work on and heal ourselves from our emotional wounds, so put the focus where it needs to be, on yourself. Sending healing love and peace. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
I have been considering recently why I am unable to feel others emotional and psychological problems and conditions through feeling only their energy. For severe cases of emotional trauma and psychological conditions, I can feel that their energy is at a different frequency than mine, and I feel unwell when I am near their energy fields.
However, if we have certain emotional wounds and injuries that match or mirror the other person, we may not feel their energy as a different frequency. Only when we interact with them physically, we begin to see the emotional and psychological wounds and injuries more clearly. In many of these situations, I either am recovering from the same mirrored emotional wounds, or these injuries have not yet been discovered and healed.
I find these incidents of mirroring of the same emotional wounds to be most troubling and difficult to navigate. Energy workers and intuitive healers also can control their energy with others, and this puts a whole other dimension in trying to decipher another’s energy. I use multiple senses including energy and the other five senses to determine whether others are emotionally and psychologically healthy.
I currently am creating my own methodology in determining the emotional and psychological health of others to help me determine who are trustworthy and safe to befriend during my recovery. May you find trust, love, and support during your healing journey. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
The end of another glorious day in the mountains . . .
Three years ago, I moved to a small rural valley community in the mountains. When I first arrived here, I did not think it would ever be called home, but I have fallen in love with this little valley. I found so many friends who I can truly call friends and share my passion for rock climbing, kayaking, hiking, biking, caving, and enjoying the outdoors! I even found a spiritual community to further develop my intuitive abilities through Reiki practice, and where I share my spiritual healing practices with others.
I finally found peace within myself that allows me to feel at home no matter where I am or go because home is where my soul is. My soul has finally rested after running after a life that is not meant for my higher path, but driven by my ego. Somehow, I was trying to out run the truth about myself and my life. I could not tolerate the emotional pain from my childhood abuse and my abuse later as an adult. I simply could not face my own truth.
True peace comes from facing the darkness within each of us, and when that darkness is cleansed by the light of day, we are free. Even if we refuse to face this darkness, it nevertheless, surfaces every day through comments by others who hurt our feelings, memories that arise in our consciousness, or events that remind us of our past emotional pain.
The truth is that we can run, but we can’t hide from our inner demons and darkness. It will surface whether we like it or not, or we may suffer the consequences of these inner demons and darkness in our present lives. We all have inner demons and darkness from our emotional wounds and pains, and there are no exceptions. Once we confront and resolve them, we are free from them. May you find freedom from your demons and shed light on your darkness. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)