Reflecting on My Struggles


Today is an appropriate day to reflect on the darkness that I faced in the past four years as it is Halloween.   During the past four years, I have had to face the trauma from my childhood.   I have been sent individuals who replicated my child dynamics in my recent life.

During this time, I have had to face the pain from my childhood involving betrayal, denials, secrets, and lies.  All these dynamics were replayed again in my recent life.  As I faced my past, I saw how I was treated, the fear within me, the hurt it caused, and the pain that remained within me.  In the course of seeing this reality, I was able to see it for what it was, but these emotional wounds must be healed through the seven stages of loss and grief.

They are: 1) shock and denial, an attempt to avoid pain by denying the loss; 2) pain and guilt, a period of devastating pain and feelings that life is chaotic; 3) anger and bargaining, including emotional outbursts that can permanently damage relationships and attempts to bargain with a higher power for relief from the emotional pain; 4) depression and loneliness, or a period of reflection during which the person realizes the full impact of the loss; 5) upward turn, when the person begins to adjust to the loss; 6) reconstruction of life without the loved one; and 7) acceptance and hope.

Acceptance does not imply happiness. Instead, the grieving person can now reminisce about the loved one with sadness, but without intense emotional pain.  I currently am in stage five of this recovery, and adjusting to my life without my family and without the feeling of loneliness and sadness.

I was stuck in stage two for most of my present lifetime struggling with pain and guilt, and coping through addictions and distractions.  I feel very confident of my ability to move toward the reconstruction of my life without them, and the acceptance of what happened to me. My eyes are finally open now to see the light as I was in darkness for so long.  (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)


12 Laws of Karma and How they Affect Us

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Recently, I have been contemplating our creation of karma for our soul lives.  There are 12 Laws of Karma that affect our lives as described in the link provided.  I have observed and been adversely affected by many who I encountered through my soul lives.  I have dated them, worked for them, and lived with them. As a result of these adverse treatments, I too have reacted adversely to these behaviors and actions against me upon which I now must reflect and change.

Karma is not instantaneous as our actions may come back to us many years later.  I have worked for a person who threatened and injured people for 11 years before she finally was terminated from her employment.  Her actions during these 11 years caused many to leave the institution and put people in great fear.  I have observed others in the course of their behaviors and actions break up families and marriages to be together.  I then observed divorces initiated by their injured spouses who endured this infidelity for many years. As a result of these divorces, these individuals have suffered financially, emotionally, and physically.

“When we think, speak or act we initiate a force that will react accordingly. This returning force maybe modified, changed or suspended, but most people will not be able eradicate it. This law of cause and effect is not punishment, but is wholly for the sake of education or learning. A person may not escape the consequences of his actions, but he will suffer only if he himself has made the conditions ripe for his suffering.”

If we do not accept responsibility for our actions and behaviors, but continue to blame others for our plights and misfortunes, our past will simply repeat itself.  I have highlighted five of the 12 Laws of Karma to illustrate this point.

“THE LAW OF CREATION – Life doesn’t just HAPPEN, it requires our participation. – We are one with the Universe, both inside and out. – Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state. – BE yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have present in your Life.

THE LAW OF HUMILITY – What you refuse to accept, will continue for you. – If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY – Whenever there is something wrong in my life, there is something wrong in me. – We mirror what surrounds us – and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth. – We must take responsibility what is in our life.

THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY – If you believe something to be true,then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth. – Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned, into actual PRACTICE.

THE LAW OF CHANGE – History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.”

The lessons taken away from the 12 Laws of Karma is to face our own behaviors and actions, take responsibilities for them and accepts these actions as our own, and put into practice what we claim we have learned to change our future path.

Quotes from

The Supermoon Experience


Earlier this week was the appearance of the last Supermoon of this year. This moon was the Hunter’s moon and it appeared 30% larger than the moon in her regular cycle. During this Supermoon, I was unable to sleep for most of the night, and had incredible revelations about my life and those around me.  I began to clearly see those in violation of the Universal Laws of Resonance and Karma. Finally, I was able to see clearly my future and my reality.

This Supermoon unveiled what was earlier hidden from me, and what my ego obscured in my life. The vibrational energy of this Supermoon was very intense, and I was highly affected by this high intensity preventing me from being able to sleep through the night.  I could feel the intensity of this energy pulling my energy body into the ground, and churning up unresolved issues within me.

This intensity resulted in my revelations about why certain people need my energy in their proximity and what I served for them, but all this will likely end as I have become aware of these parasitic relationships. It has become clear why certain individuals are unable to stand alone in their lives and how I am being used in this capacity to perpetuate their chaos.   These revelations and clarity about my reality has allowed me to find my path toward my future. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Awakening to Freedom

ca. 2001

ca. 2001

This period of my awakening journey has been profound as I am more awake then ever.  This realization of my reality is not one I had been willing or able to see, but now I am ready to witness the reality that is my life.    For nearly all my soul life, I have been full of fear and hurt and walking around wounded.  As a result, I attracted into my life those who are similar to me, also full of hurt and fear.

Three years ago, I moved to a remote area of the country.  Somehow, I knew I would be doing my spiritual and healing work here.  This place has a vortex that attracts many of us who are intuitive and keenly can feel energy.  It is here that I have had many levels of awakening.  As each layer is healed within me, I have revelations and increased awakening.

Recently, I healed another layer of my emotional wound and what I have uncovered and clearly can see is that I have surrounded myself with these injured and wounded people like myself.  Along with their emotional wounds is fear, they then act on these fears without much awareness or consciousness of their choices or actions.

In the past, I believed that I would reunite with my parents after I have healed my childhood abuse and trauma.  My realization now is that I will not likely reunite with them, but I have become independent and free of my attachments to them.  Regrettably, my attachments to them were negative ones based in fear and not love.  Now, I realize that I am able to be alone and feel happy and loved in my life without these negative attachments.

I have freed myself of these attachments because I no longer need them to survive.  I realize that my aloneness is independence and freedom from them.  Finally, I understand my personal and soul purpose for coming to this place to do this important spiritual work as I came here to let go of my negative attachments in my life.  I am well on the road to true freedom.  May you find your road to true freedom. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)