Awakening

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This journey of self discovery is one that surprises me constantly.  Just when I think I have figured things out, then I realize that it isn’t my path at all, but an illusion of what my ego has planned.  This realization can be distressing to the psyche, but one that is intended if we wish to awaken from the sleep of unconscious life while living on automatic pilot.

My life is such a life of bittersweet revelations that is just the opposite of what I expected.  When I thought I was in love with someone, I was intended to learn a life lesson about my self worth, forgiveness, and compassion.  When I encountered someone who annoyed me and I disliked, I was intended to learn patience and unconditional love for myself.  When I worked for a tyrant who controlled me, I was intended to learn to take back my own power, and self determination.  When I finally learned to love myself, I no longer sought that love from my family and others, and learned to let go.

When I began my spiritual journey in March 2011, these revelations and subsequent outcomes were not what I expected at all.  Every realization about myself has moved me forward in a direction that I never planned, but one that is my path now.  Without these encounters with those I attracted, I would not be where I am now.  I realize now that they were brought to me to show me who I am within, and who I must come to acceptance or change.  These are my choices and this is my life to make and a life that is waiting for me. (Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

What Is Love?

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Learning about love is important for those of us who were abused as children, and confused love with hurt and pain.  As an adult, I spent most of my life seeking what I thought was love with different men in the hopes of finding happiness in my life.  I had quite a few similar life lessons that I refused to learn until now.  These were lessons full of suffering and heart ache that were intended to help me find the self love that I lacked.

I associated hurt and pain with love for so long, and it translated to emotional and sexual desires.  These desires were so strong that they attracted like a magnet into my life those who hurt and injured me.  It was a compulsion that I could not stop or control.  No matter what I did consciously by forcing myself to find better and healthier partners in my life, it did not stick for long.  This was the result of not learning or experiencing healthy love early in my life.

All this changed when I began in earnest my emotional healing work after the rise of my Kundalini energy in March 2011.  I share these techniques and methods on the tabs on top of my Blogsite Homepage. With each layer of my emotional wound that I healed, I began to realize that I am deserving of  love, kindness, and compassion for myself.  I realized that I projected my pain and hurt outwardly toward others as I was unable to handle or acknowledge that this was my own pain and hurt.  These projections occurred with nearly every relationship in my life, and they drove away those I loved.

I am alone now learning that this love that I thought I felt for men in my life is really love that I have for myself.  This yearning for love is the love I lacked from childhood, and that only I can give to myself on my journey to wholeness. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)