I have been observing and identifying enablers in my current life, and there are many. Enablers are those who support and perpetuate the negative behaviors of others by removing and diminishing the natural consequences of their negative behaviors. Enablers generally have low self esteem, and feed on the needs and the dysfunctions of others. They feed on the emotional energy of others, and gain strength and power from this energetic feeding.
Enablers need this energy in order to satisfy their own feelings of low self worth and esteem. Enabler always blame those they enable for both their negative behaviors. These negative behaviors always involve drama, to include infidelity, addiction, manipulation, deception, lying, cheating, and other negative and hurtful behaviors.
Until recently, I did not identify certain behaviors as enabling behaviors until I began instinctively to disengage in drama. For example, recently I attended a party and met my friend at this party. During this party, she received a text from her good friend’s boyfriend who has become interested in her. He texted her to meetup after our party. She asked me to go along which I declined, and further discouraged her from going as it is destructive and a really bad idea.
In the past, I may have felt that I needed to go along as this is what friends do for each other. However, my instincts told me that this is negative and destructive behavior, and that I would become an enabler in this situation if I participated. My attendance would have enabled this negative behavior and dynamic. Although, I cannot prevent my friend from behaving negatively, I certainly have free will to decide about my involvement in this situation. It is important to have awareness of our own behaviors as we may be acting as an enabler to others negative behaviors. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)