Our emotional health determines the stability and peace in our current lives. During my own emotional recovery work, I have found certain things that are indicators of our current emotional health. Take a honest look at your life and determine if you are living a healthy emotional life.
1.Do you seek approval from others for your self esteem? We give away our power to others when we lack self esteem and seek approval, adoration, and acceptance from others. There are clear signs of this. Do you post pictures of and personal laments about yourself on Facebook and other social media in the attempt to receive likes, sympathy, approval, adoration, or acceptance? Do you need hundreds of friends on Facebook or other social media to feel good about yourself?
2.Are you in a relationship based on your needs and dependency? Are you with your partner/significant other because you fear being alone? Are you worried about your finances and your partner provides you financial stability? Are you afraid to be alone and need your partner to provide protection and security?
3.Do you feel good only when you control things around you and tell others what to do or do things for them, because you believe you are “helping” or “saving” them? This is really not a form of helping or saving others as we cannot save others because we can only save ourselves. This is a form of deriving self esteem for ourselves and frequently, we become a dependency for others rather than helping them become self sufficient. This is the syndrome of “they need me and I feel important.”
4. Do you blame others for the problems or failures in your life? Whenever we have problems in our life, we are a participant and therefore, we contribute to the problems or failures. We are always a responsible party in any event in our lives, even if we are the victim because we can change our choices so we no longer are a victim.
5. Are you always expecting other to change rather changing your own perspective, behaviors, and attitude? When we refuse to take responsibility for our own lives, we go from relationship to relationship, job to job, and situation to situation insisting that others change so that we can be satisfied, happy, and content. Your external world cannot make you satisfied, happy, or content, since this change must occur internally within yourself.
6. Do you hold grudges and never let go of hurt? If you are still holding a grudge, you are still suffering. Forgive, but never forget. Trust is earned. Forgiving others is for yourself, not for them. You don’t need to trust those who lie, steal, cheat, or hurt you, but forgive them and let them go. Let them go in order to move on with your own life.
If you say “yes” to any of the above, you still have more internal work to do. When we are willing and able to identify and acknowledge that we are NOT living a healthy emotional life, we can begin to change ourselves to find stability, peace, contentment, and joy within ourselves for a better spiritual life and existence. May you find a healthier emotional life for yourself. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)