Since today is Valentine’s Day it is appropriate to talk about love. Our first and last love should be self love. Self love serves as a foundation for all our relationships. Personally in the past year, I have learned some tough lessons about self love through my failed relationship, but it is a lesson worth learning as it will change all my relationships in my life.
A years ago, on Valentine’s Day, the man I was dating and I had an argument about a married woman with whom he was involved. I confronted him about her over dinner which I treated. Ironically, she texted him that night. Regrettably that night, we also had a terrible snow storm, and I lived about an hour away. He sent me home in the snow storm and locked me out of his house. I ended up staying in a hotel overnight and returned home the next morning.
I learned several lessons about my relationship and myself that night. The man I dated did not love or care for me, cannot truly love anyone, and loathes himself as he has no compassion for another human being. I should not have been surprised since he also sexually assaulted me and gave me a deadly sexually transmitted disease as he is a carrier and apparently, has had many partners.
I also learned that I loathed myself by being involved with someone who treated me with such disrespect and disregard. Why would I be attracted to such a person? Why would I allow myself to be treated so poorly? I realized that I loathed myself as I was abused as a child, and confused abuse with love. That is why I allowed this man into my life. We broke up shortly thereafter.
A year later this Valentine’s Day, I spent this weekend with those I love and made brunch for the people I love in my life. They also return my love and treat me with kindness, care, and respect. This is the lesson I learned last Valentine’s Day that we must love ourselves first and last. We cannot capture the heart of another, until we have captured our own heart. May you find love for yourselves on Valentine’s Day! (Copyrights 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)