During the last few days, I have spent time alone allowing my feelings from past and current day issues to surface. Many of these feelings are very painful from past abuse, rejection, betrayal, and hurt. As these feelings rise, I begin to understand my current day responses to people and events. I know now why I feel greater pain from these current day situations. This pain is inside of me, and others who treat me harmfully and disrespectfully now feel that much more intensely painful to me.
However, it is important to distinguish between bad and harmful behaviors and the pain within us. They may not be mutually exclusive, but they are two different things. In order to distinguish this, I watch as an observer at my situation. Are the actions of others objectively hurtful? For example, if someone lies, cheat, and steals from you, you may feel angry and disappointed by their behaviors toward you. We would not want people we trust to lie to, cheat, and steal from us? If we have had prior similar emotional injuries, we may feel these experiences more intensely painful.
However, when others make an observation about us that we feel insecure about, we may react or response in defensive or angry ways. However, when we look at our situation as an objective observer, we begin to see what others are saying about us is not intended to hurt us, but they may be observing something about us. If we find others expressing their feelings as an attack on us, it is usually signs that the hurt is within us.
That being said, I do not believe it is appropriate for others to yell, scream, or denigrate us as that is emotional abuse and should never be tolerated. The key here is to be able to observe our situations objectively and determine if this is abusive and disrespectful behavior toward us or is someone making an observation about us that we feel slighted. This observation practice also can be achieved through meditation.
As we practice this observation practice, we begin to see that most hurt is truly within us, and only certain behaviors are truly physical, sexual, and emotional abuse that should never be tolerated. Sending healing love and light to you! (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)