As a practitioner of objective observation of my own life and those around me, I have become very aware of those who try to draw me into their drama. Drama is most commonly driven by self loathing, lack of self esteem or worth, lashing out from internal emotional pain, or repeating a learned negative behavior. There may be other reasons such as emotional or mental disorders or disturbances that I will not have time to address here.
Drama is essentially negative emotional states manifesting into negative actions. As these actions become habitual, they become everyday behaviors. I recently had two incidents that I took note of that occurred to me. In one situation, during a conversation with my brother, he attempted to urge me to visit my parents as I have had a rift with them due to the childhood abuse I suffered.
My brother said, “You need to visit mom and dad because you don’t know how long they will live.” I realized that this statement was intended to guilt me into visiting my parents, and is a form of emotional manipulation. He could have said, “I will support you when you are ready to visit mom and dad.” In the past, this would have began a big argument as it would have triggered my emotional wounds. Now, I no longer have this emotional wound for him to trigger, so I responded, “I will visit them only when I am ready and not before. Thanks.”
The other incident occurred during dinner with my good friend last night. During our dinner, we ran into a man who I had a negative past interaction. In the past, I would say hello to him when I ran into him, but he would not respond. I never really cared, and thought that he was hurting himself by holding grudges with others, and suffering from them. Last night, this man did not come over to say hello to my friend, and she became visibly upset.
She expressed how rude he was, but I did not respond. When I failed to engage, she began to repeat the negative things he said about me. In the past, my emotional wounds would have been triggered, and I would have ranted with her about what a rude and awful person he is. However, I realized her repeating these negative statements that he made about me was intended to draw me into her drama. This also was a form of emotional manipulation. I simply responded to my friend, “I really don’t care, and do you mind if we stop talking about him.”
When we feel slighted or offended by others, it is caused by a trigger of an emotional injury within us. If we no longer have this emotional wound for others to trigger, we will no longer care and will not be emotionally hurt by their statements. I also am aware that my brother attempted to guilt me into doing something, and my friend attempted to get me to agree with her about how awful this man is. Both their statements were forms of emotional manipulation.
I no longer engage in negative behaviors even when others attempt to goad me. I realized that after I healed my emotional wounds, I have improved my self esteem, love myself, no longer need to lash out against others, and no longer repeat negative learned behaviors of my past. Healing our emotional wounds allow us to outgrow our need for drama, and experience this magical and miraculous transformation to a different life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)