When we are on a spiritual journey of emotional healing and growth, there will come a time that we are traveling in unfamiliar territory. This is where I am now. What feels unfamiliar is how I am interacting now with my world. I am not interested in dependency of others, so I feel disinterested in becoming entangled with others either romantically or with their drama. It just is not interesting or neccessary for my life now.
I feel very certain about how I want to spend my time, and don’t waste time doing things I don’t want to do. Recently, someone invited me to a football game and tailgating which I dislike and thanked him, but declined the invitation. I have stopped pacifying and trying to please others, so I don’t do those things anymore, and I feel such relief because my self esteem no longer is dependent on others liking me.
I am moving forward in my life without knowing the outcome or trying to control the outcome. I am listening to my inner voice on how to best proceed. It feels like flying in a fog in a plane without nagivational equipment to help me find my way. I am moving forward only with my intuition and a little scared with anticipation. My world feels competely differently now, and what a ride!
Is this how freedom feels? Is this living without attachment? Is this enlightment? I don’t yet know the answer to my questions. It certainly feels foreign, but uncharacteristically comfortable. My life is no longer influenced or dependent on others, and I move forward sometimes with obstacles in my way, but it is not stressful and debilitating as my life was earlier.
Here I go and where I land, I do not know. I feel lighter and lighter, and the weight of my past is falling away. This is the pure joy of the spiritual journey, and this is what soaring like a bird feels like. May you find your journey into the heavens! (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)