A new life is not free, we must be willing to let go of old energies for new energies to enter. We also must change our choices in order to change the outcomes in our lives.
In my dreams last night, I said goodbye to those in my past who I will not have an opportunity to say goodbye as I move onto the next phase of my journey. In my dream, I spoke to each person separately saying my farewells. My interaction with these important individuals who I encountered on my journey either taught me lessons, tested me, or showed me truths about myself.
Although they are no longer in my life now, their contributions to my emotional healing and spiritual growth were necessary, and I thank them as I no longer harbor any animosity or ill will against them. We must be willing to let go of these relationships by understanding that they no longer lead somewhere as our time together have ended.
Letting go feels like a huge weight has lifted from my heart. My higher self tells me to let go, and don’t hang on because this letting go is necessary for me to move forward as I no longer need to carry such heavy baggage with me along my journey.
As I lighten my load on my journey, I gave away possessions, gave away valuables, and gave up emotional pain and hurt. The lightening of my load means to release, let go, and forgive myself and others. It is through this letting go that gives us peace and harmony, allows us to find happiness and joy, and attracts love and passion into our lives.
After giving up the people, places, and situations of my past, I shall finally find my dreams and peace, joy, and love will naturally flow into my life. I will finally get a second chance at my life. In 2017, may you find your dreams. (Copyright 2o16 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
It has taken me most of this lifetime to find inner peace. It has always been illusive to me because I wanted to control everyone, everything, and all situations around me. As a person who experienced childhood abuse, this is the natural response after experiencing trauma. Most people are on auto pilot using the same negative behaviors and coping skills throughout our lives.
Many people including myself engaged in negative behaviors or coping skills without any awareness as that was how we survived our trauma. We continue to use the same coping skills and negative behaviors in our every day life until one day we see patterns exhibited in our lives full of failures, disappointments, and frustrations.
We awaken to who we have become as a result of our negative experiences, traumas, or abuses. This awakening is the realization that our lives are not the outcomes we had hope, and is not the life we want to be living. It is a rude awakening for many of us including myself. I had become the person that I vowed never to become.
This realization, recognition, and acknowledgment of who I had become was a necessary step to changing my life. It is not an optional step in transformation. Many people who are alcoholic, drug addicts, abusers, etc. will tell you that every recovery program requires this acknowlegment before recovering may begin.
Sometimes, the first step is the hardest. The recovery work is difficult, but recovery cannot take place until we have acknowledged our problems and reality. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
I have much gratitude going into 2017 as there is so much to be grateful for in my life. I am grateful for all the doors that closed in my life and the many situtaions that did not turn out the way I wanted them. In retrospect, those people, opporutnities, and situations were never meant for me.
What I perceived initially as rejection or abandonment are really serendipity and synchronicity for my life. I did not enter into relationships, did not get job offers, and did not get selected for certain situations. Because of these missed opportunities, I had better opportunities waiting for me that is perfect for me and meant for me.
When we are occupied with the ego’s need to control outcomes whether they are relationships, careers, job opportunities, or other situations, our lives will constantly feel like a struggle. We lack abundance, have failed relationships, have unsuccessful careers, and generally fail to move forward.
Our ego does not know what is best for us, but our higher self does. Many of us still operate in the smaller self or ego so we continue to fight the path that is not meant for us, so our lives continue to feel like a huge uphill battle.
In my life now if something does not work out in the way that I hope, I always say to myself, “This is simply not meant for me. Something better is waiting for me.” I see my life now with a very bright horizon, and everything falling into place like a giant jigsaw puzzle. I no longer question the why, but simply accept what is meant for me, will come to me. (Copyrigth 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
Most of us may not even realize it, but we live with constant fear nearly every minute of every day. Fear is not just about being frightened about any particular thing, person, or event, it is a mental state. This is what I feared. I feared change, abandonment, rejection, trusting others, being unlovable, being unworthy, being alone, and being injured again.
The problem with this fearful mental state is that we do not take any risks, and cannot grow or move forward. Although I wanted very much to move foward, I was stuck and living in the purgatory of this mental state. I lived in this misery for a long time.
Another problem with living in this fearful mental state is that we will attract this exact energy that we fear. Like energy attracts like energy, and I met others who abandoned me, rejected me, told me I was unworthy, deceived and lied to me, or physically or sexually injured me. I created more misery for myself, and lived in this misery for a very long time.
The third problem is that our perceptions because of our fears will keep us in this fearful mental loop. If we fear being abandoned, we attract this energy into our lives, and then we are abandoned by them. We convince ourselves that we are victims because what we fear actually came true so others are doing this to us just like we fear. This is called victim mentally, and I lived in this misery for a even longer time.
A critical part of moving forward and overcoming these fears is our willingness to face our own fears. This is what I did. I decided to leave my marriage and live alone because I fear being alone. I purchased a house and a car on my own. I began to change my life first with small things like standing up for myself, uncluttering my life as I can be a hoarder, and learned to set healthy boundaries.
I began to work on my self worth and esteem by learning to accept who I am, including my light and darkness, with the belief that I can overcome my darkness. I began to take care of myself by going to the doctor, exercising, eating healthier, and making better life choices. I coupled these efforts with emotional release practice, and other healing modalities. Please see my earlier post on “Emotional Release Practice.”
In other words, I began to work on myself by looking inward, and taking responsibilty for my own life choices. With these efforts, my life started to change as I began attracting different people, situations, and events into my life that was different from my earlier life. This is how I know what I am doing is actually working.
When we confront our fears, and take responsibility for our life choices, we begin to attract very different energy into our life, and the outcomes reflect this new energy. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)