It has taken me most of this lifetime to find inner peace. It has always been illusive to me because I wanted to control everyone, everything, and all situations around me. As a person who experienced childhood abuse, this is the natural response after experiencing trauma. Most people are on auto pilot using the same negative behaviors and coping skills throughout our lives.
Many people including myself engaged in negative behaviors or coping skills without any awareness as that was how we survived our trauma. We continue to use the same coping skills and negative behaviors in our every day life until one day we see patterns exhibited in our lives full of failures, disappointments, and frustrations.
We awaken to who we have become as a result of our negative experiences, traumas, or abuses. This awakening is the realization that our lives are not the outcomes we had hope, and is not the life we want to be living. It is a rude awakening for many of us including myself. I had become the person that I vowed never to become.
This realization, recognition, and acknowledgment of who I had become was a necessary step to changing my life. It is not an optional step in transformation. Many people who are alcoholic, drug addicts, abusers, etc. will tell you that every recovery program requires this acknowlegment before recovering may begin.
Sometimes, the first step is the hardest. The recovery work is difficult, but recovery cannot take place until we have acknowledged our problems and reality. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)