Image

Let Go

Advertisements

In the End

6360004036005151341971270067_9

In the end, everything works out for the best. Over four years ago, I was involved in a destructive triangle with two Kundalini active people. As I was abused as a child, this was the dynamic from my childhood. These two individuals were married to others when they became emotionally and energetically involved.

The irony in all this, is that the spouses of these two individuals moved onto others who love them now, and they are in happy committed relationships. When I was involved with the man in this triangle, the woman was married to someone else.

Even I moved on to find love in my life, and am in a committed relationship with someone who is perfect for me. It appeared that these two individuals served as life lessons for all three of us of what we don’t want in our lives.

As a result of meeting these two Kundalini active people, I was able to find, after letting them go, a loving and kind man who is good to me. I am grateful that I met these two Kundalini active individuals because I will never repeat this type of behavior with anyone else again.

I believe these two individuals serve as important life lessons for many they encounter.  As I reflect back now, I am no longer angry, but I feel very grateful that they forced me to let go of my past, and showed me the right  and higher path. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Relearning Love

the-art-of-self-love

During this phase of my spiritual journey, I am relearning love. In my family of origin, I associated love with abuse, violence, narcissism, and fear. The lessons I learned in the past five years taught me that love does not involve yearning, clinging, cravings, insecurity, possession, or jealousy. I have come to realize that I have never truly loved anyone and have never truly been loved by anyone.

I am relearning how to love now in my life. As I have recently learned how to love myself, I am learning how to love others unconditionally. Love is behavior we learn through our family of origin. As an adult now, I am having to relearn how to love others and myself.

Love, particular romantic love, feels very different for me than from my past. I realize now that love is peaceful and safe. It is not only the intensity of sexual attraction  which I believe is temporary. Love feels very different for me now, because the yearning, craving, insecurity, and fear no longer exist in my relationships. Even my friendships, feel different than in my past because they involve mutual respect of our needs and boundaries.

As I progressed in my spiritual journey, I am relearning and experiencing my world completely differently. Sometimes, it feels like I am living another life as someone else. As I experienced my world now, my higher self is telling me that this is real love and that my life has changed forever. ( copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Family Karma

014c3655efc6c95b959538a6018c4ba9

This weekend, I spent time with my favorite cousin. She is a schizophrenic who has recovered amazingly well and is living a full and productive life. Our time together was learning about each other, since we have not spent much time together since childhood.

This was an important weekend together since it gave us the opportunity to set healthy boundaries now that we are both recovered from our illnesses. As we began our weekend, we reverted to our childhood behaviors that was very dysfunctional and unhealthy.

We share similar family dynamics, since we grew up together. Our family shared incest, narcissism, violence, mental illness, and abuse. I believe this is our family Karma. As the weekend progressed, we acknowledge many of these dysfunctions within our family.

On the last evening of our visit, I raised awareness of how we were behaving and acting toward each other. I addressed that we were reverting back to our old and dysfunctional behaviors. My cousin was able to recognize the same, and agreed that we needed to change our dynamics together.

I felt very encouraged that we are moving forward together, although none of the other members of our family has done so. She has been my only ally in my emotional recovery work and spiritual growth. I feel so blessed that I have another family member who is attempting to change her life for the better, and spiritually progress for her soul life. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)