The Infinite Speaks through Us


I recently had a deep conversation with a friend about spirituality.  I explained the missions I have been sent and the work I do are at the direction of the Infinite.  This may sound silly or crazy for some, but it is how I live now.  Through these missions, I have a two fold purpose.  The first purpose is to help others, and the second purpose is to heal myself.

I explained to my friend that humans have three separate voices within our minds for most mentally and emotionally sound and stable people.  The first voice is the child voice, the second voice is the parent voice, and the third voice is the adult voice. Not everyone develops the third voice, if they have been traumatized in some manner during childhood.  The child voice usually expresses fears, hurt, and vulnerability.  The parent voice is the “shoulds” and “don’t” within us.  The adult voice is the rational or reasonable voice.

However, if we hear a fourth voice within, it is likely the voice of the Infinite.  I explained to my friend that you know it is the Infinite speaking through you because it is saying things opposite of your wishes or not what we expect or want to hear at all.  For example, we may not want to do something out of fear, but this voice will tell you to do it anyway. Many people on spiritual paths have told me about hearing this fourth voice, which I believe all human who are open and willing to listen will hear this voice.

This fourth voice is the most pronounced voice within me now, since the rise of my Kundalini energy.  This energy, I believe, connects me to the Universal energy or Infinite energy.  The fourth voice also can be heard during meditation.  When we first begin meditation, this fourth voice is soft and difficult to decipher.  However, through regular practice, we can ask the Infinite energy during meditation to provide us with guidance.  Implementing this guidance is the difficult struggle, and we have free will to implement it or not.  I believe this is what is meant as the saying goes, “God helps those who help themselves.”  May you find your fourth voice within and may you find your path forward through it. (Copyright 2019 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).




My Journey of Self Discovery


Since March, 2011, when my Kundalini energy rose within me, I have learned so much about myself.  Because of this intelligent energy, I am connected to the universal Infinite energy that guides me, helps me self reflect, and provides me a vision into myself and my world. This blessing comes at a price as not many understand my journey, my purpose, or my path.  However, the Infinite sent me my twin flame to support me through this arduous journey.

I am eternally grateful for this gift of sight.  Because I could not see earlier, I do not take this sight for granted, and this sight allows me to understand others deeply.  Many of my life lessons seem to involve letting go of people through forgiveness. Many are brought into my life so that I may let them go.  I am told very early on during my encounter with others as to who will stay in my life and who I must let go.

My life has transformed completely than prior to March, 2011. Much of my journey requires me to accept what I cannot change, change what I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference as in the Serenity Prayer. Every new mission or experience has a purpose, although I am not completely sure of that purpose until I go through the experience.

For example, when I began my first mission at a college in the mountains of Appalachia, the purpose was to overcome my anger, fear, and resentment toward my parents for my childhood abuse.  My supervisor then represented my mother, and a man I dated then represented my father.  I knew that I needed to forgive them in order to let them go.  As I lived in this rural part of the country, I was brought dear, kind, and life long friends.

My next mission occurred at another college clear across the country.  The purpose for this experience was to overcome my guilt of my inability to save myself and my brother from childhood sexual and physical abuse.  This savior complex created all level of distress and frustration in my life.  I imposed my fears and need to change others when they were not ready to make such a change.  This letting go and forgiveness process includes forgiving myself and accepting what occurred earlier in my childhood.

Each time, I overcame one of these experiences, my life transformed and even my twin flame showed up because I am ready to unite with him.  I know my life will transform once again becoming closer to my true self, and living a more authentic life.  I give thanks every day for my gifts and blessings.  (Copyright 2019 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved.)







The Act of Forgiveness

The hardest part of my spiritual journey has been the work on forgiveness. Since giving notice at my job at the college, my staff asked me to leave the office before my last day. This was very hurtful to me as I hired them and fought hard for their positions and their salaries.

My assistant director who I hired and recommended her for the interim director position told me, “it is best for the team if you left.” When I first heard these words, I thought what an ungrateful bunch of people.

However, as I move forward on my spiritual journey, I am told by the Infinite that I must forgive these people in order to leave them behind me. I cannot take them along on my journey forward, and carrying anger or resentment about them will only keep them firmly connected to me.

The only true way to release them, is to forgive them for they know not what they do is what I am told by the Infinite. Once I do this, I will be free to move forward. Now, for the hard work ahead to forgive those who have hurt me. (Copyright 2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Survivor’s Guilt

7CDDC125-4964-4842-9825-E4883AF1170AFor many years, I experienced a reoccurring dream. In the dream I was on the second floor of my parents home with my brother and many little children.

The house was on fire, and I attempted to help my brother and the little children escape. In this panic and chaos, my brother and the children in fear refused to jump out of the second story window, but in my mind I knew that I was going to jump out without them. In a cold sweat, I wake up from the dream. I believe the dream represents survivors guilt.

When I started my job two years ago working on a college campus with students who have been sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, and physically assaulted from dating violence, I did not fully realize that the purpose of working at this job is to overcome this survivors guilt.

Very recently, I gave notice at this job. The process to get to this point of letting go of trying to save the students, and a university that is in crisis was very difficult.  Even the staff that worked for me are very much like these children who works at a college that is on “fire.”

First, I had to realize what was happening. Second, I made an intention to let them go even if it would be painful for all of us involved. Third, I just let go. In fact, I knew when I first started that I would not make any friends while working at this college. I left with many good colleagues, but no true friends here. This prediction came true.

Maybe I did not make friends because it would be too hard to let go? I feel free now without hanging onto this great burden. I hope I have finally let go of the needs to save these students and my staff members. Only time will tell. (Copyright 2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)