We all have inner demons. The trick is finding our own, and learning to overcome them. I am doing just that in my spiritual journey now. I initially was not sure why I recently began a new career challenge of starting an educational consulting firm. The Infinite told me that I needed to leave my last mission of working at a university helping sexually assaulted and sexually harassed students to move onto this next phase of my journey.
During the past week, it came to me as to why I am on the next phase of my journey. It is to save myself! I have been helping to “save” others for a long time, and now the Infinite tells me that it is time to save myself. I also learned something important during the past three years. That is: “we cannot save others, since we only can save ourselves.” This has been a very hard lesson for me.
As I begin this new consulting firm, I have come across many obstacles, such as getting a credit card for this business, finding clients, and joining organizations. Since I established this firm as a corporation, this business does not yet have a credit history, track record, or reputation. All my insecurities, self doubt, and fears are being tested every day and week.
I finally realized why I am doing this, and how my inner demons are forced to my conscious awareness that I now must confront. It all makes sense now. If I can overcome these demons, I will succeed in my new venture! If I can subdue my ego’s fears, I can accomplish my goals and overcome my obstacles. No spiritual journey is easy, and I have come so far. Now it is “onward!” (Copyright 2019 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
For some on spiritual journeys, the emotional state of mind or emotional landscape is the focal point of their work. However, I believe there also is a link between our emotional well-being and our physical and mental health. I first discovered this after my Kundalini energy first rose in March 2011. During this time, many of my emotional trauma energy surfaced and came into my conscious awareness.
As this energy came into my conscious awareness, I attempted to release the trauma and negative energy forcing its way through my chakras and physical body. It was both a physically painful and emotionally terrifying experience. What I learned about this process is that the Kundalini energy was forcing its way through my blocked chakras, and most of my chakras suffered from energetic blockages. It took about a year to release the most toxic energy within me. After each energetic release, I experienced my physical and mental symptoms dissipating within me.
For example, I suffered from chronic back pain in my upper and lower back, and neck. Other symptoms that dissipated included temporomandibular (TMJ) disorder in which I regularly experienced lock jaw and nightly teeth grinding. Immediately, after working through my negative emotionally issues and releasing this toxic energy within me, these symptoms began to dissipate. During this time, I also contracted the human papillomaviruses (HPVs) which is known to cause cervical and other forms of cancer in women. After two years of monitoring by my doctor, my body naturally fought off this virus. As for my mental health, my clinical depression, anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms miraculously dissipated, and I have been free of all symptoms for eight years.
I believe humans are genetically predispose to certain illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, certain types of cancers, etc., but why so some family members contract these illnesses while others do not? I believe it is, in part, caused by the emotionally toxic and negative energy creating energetic blockages within our bodies. These energetic blockages prevent our bodies from naturally fighting off these illnesses, and naturally healing ourselves, since our bodies are not functionally optimally from these negative and toxic energies within us.
I have observed so many individuals who are ill and dying, but what they have failed to do is look within themselves for the cause rather than only considering external causes for their illnesses. I do believe medical treatment is necessary when we suffer from terminal illnesses such as cancer or heart attacks, but have we consider why we have these illnesses in the first place? (Copyright 2019 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
About three years ago, I moved to California for a job at a university near my family. At first I thought I moved here for this job. I have since left that job, but I believe I moved here to resolve what still remains unresolved with my family.
During the past eight years since the rise of my kundalini energy, I have worked diligently to resolve within me the issues involving my parents. However since then, I have been struggling with unresolved issues involving my brother.
The issues have repeated with others who represent my brother at my job and in my personal life. Due to the childhood abuse we both suffered, I have felt responsible for saving my brother out of survivor’s guilt.
This is how I have enabled others to become dependent upon me. I create these codependent relationships that ultimately destroyed my relationships with them. This is what I am currently facing with my brother.
Recently, as I interact with my brother, I try not to interfere in his life even when he asks for help. I do not interfered, therefore forcing him to solve his own problems that he created.
Each time, I interact with my brother, I am cognizant of the dynamics between us. I step back, and am very deliberate in my responses to him. My knee-jerk responses based on guilt are beginning to fade away. I hope this is a new way of relating to my family. (Copyright 2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)