Expectations of outcome as it relates to forgiveness

As I reflect on my current circumstances in life, I have come to understand the connection between forgiveness and expectations out of outcome. Let me explain. As a child I was sexually and physically abused by my father. Throughout my adult life, I wanted vengeance and what I believe is a ‘fair outcome’ for someone like my father.

Many men were brought into my life who were either predators themselves or supported or enabled predators to injure others, including children. Through these individuals, I needed to learn my life lessons. What I did learn is that forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting our past or the events that harmed us. These lessons were meant to teach us something important about ourselves and how to love ourselves.

The most important part of forgiveness is that we give up and let go of expectations of outcome that never came into fruition for us earlier. It is this letting go of the Expectations of  outcome that allows us to forgive and move on without carrying these burdens with us along our journey forward. This will give us true peace.

This part of forgiveness has been the hardest  spiritual work  I have had to do thus far. However, I feel I am reaching this closer and closer each day. When I accomplish this, I will finally be able to move forward and finally leave  my emotional pain behind me. (Copyright 2018 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

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Forgiveness

My recent phase of learning life lessons is about forgiveness. From childhood into adulthood, I have faced abuses, assaults, and other injuries. I know that in order to heal from my past pain, I must forgive those who have harmed me.

However, the trust with these people have been breached and I will always remember what they did to me. Now, I am learning how to navigate existing in the same space and future with them.

This has been difficult for me as I am trying not to take things they do personally but just to observe their actions. However, I no longer trust their judgment, statements, or intentions. It is this delicate balance of looking at things objectively, and seeing everything for exactly what it is without feeling victimized by their actions.

To transcend from the hardships and complexities of life means to objectively see the world exactly as it is without personalizing others’ actions. In this way, we no longer play the role of the victim.(copyright 2018 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Last Tour of Duty

On my spiritual journey, I have been sent on missions from the infinite. I am told that this is my last tour of duty working with sexually and physically assaulted students at a college.

As I serve my last tour of duty, I ponder about this mission on which I have been sent. It has been the most arduous mission to date for me. I am physically and mentally exhausted from the chaos and suffering at this college.

As an empath, this suffering and pain can be intolerable for me. I struggle each day for self-care and protection against the toxicity and indifference at this college.

The political climate in the US with Donald Trump at the helm has made things that much worse for protection against sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking for college students.

During this mission, it has become harder and harder, and the work for this mission more arduous and insurmountable. This has been the most difficult and worst job I have held to date due to the people working here.

Part of my mission is to understand what I’m supposed to learn on this journey during my mission, and how I can transcend these hardships. Before I leave here, I hope to make this place a little bit better for our students and the next person responsible for protecting the safety and security of these college students. (Copyright 2018 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Self Love for Empaths

Since my spiritual awakening, I’ve become very sensitive empath. With these gifts, I am easily fatigued and exhausted by the energy and the needs of others.

When I discovered that my purpose in life is to help college students in sexual assault, dating violence, stalking, and sexual harassment situations, I began working on a college campus. The demands of this job can exhaust anyone but as an empath, I feel the effects more intensely.

Recently, the infinite sent me signs that I have not been taking care of myself including fainting from dehydration and fatigue. This weekend, I am enjoying a massages, reflexology and Reiki treatments.

I have made a commitment to myself to care of myself daily, including setting very clear boundaries and expectations with those who make great demands on my time and energy.

Self-care is a form of self love, and until we have loved ourselves, we cannot give love to others.(Copyright 2018 awakening journey with all rights reserved.)

Living the Ordinary

On our spiritual journeys, there comes a time when all seems ordinary and the path is clearer. Let me explain.

During the spiritual journey, we work diligently to heal our emotional wounds, find our purpose in life, and seek inner peace. Through self love and acceptance, we begin to find this path forward.

On this arduous journey, at some point this path becomes clearer and the journey becomes easier. The daily hardship still remains but because the path is clearer, this clarity helps us through our journey ahead.

For me, this path feels like living an ordinary life without as much turmoil, drama, and suffering. This life does not involve expectations, judgments, and attachments.

What I found is that the extraordinary life that I thought I would live is really just an ordinary life. May you find the ordinary for your life. (Awakening journey Copyright 2018 with all rights reserved)

Understanding Purpose

There comes a time on our spiritual journeys that we begin to understand the path that we are given and why. One day, it all becomes so clear. There is a beginning, middle, and end.

For me, my path began with a childhood full of abuse, isolation, and fear. This beginning was intended to help me understand the pains and sufferings of others, to learn compassion, and to practice forgiveness for those who injured me. During the middle of my journey, I obtained the skills and strength to defend myself and others who are equally defenseless and vulnerable.

I am moving towards the last part of my journey. During this phase of my journey, my path is one of compassion, forgiveness, and finding ways to serve those who are injured, defenseless, and vulnerable. Once I learned my purpose for this lifetime, I am able to accept my path and let go of my resentments, fears, and resistance to this path.May you understand your purpose and path for this lifetime. (Copyright 2018 awakening journey with all rights reserved.)

Coming into Clarity

951EB79C-3C40-4247-BACF-4C38D7A3F116.jpegOn our spiritual journey, we come to realize something very important. No matter what the gifts or talents we are given, our humans struggles are all the same. I believe this is what we are here to learn.

After my Kundalini energy rose in March, 2011, I was given the gift of insight, clairvoyance, and visions. However, as I enter my seventh year as a Kundalini active person, my human struggles remain the same. I still need to work hard, fight traffic, and deal with daily difficulties and hardships.

This is what I have come to learn about spiritual journeys. These journeys bring us back to the present which can be difficult as we are tested every day to be a better person, to have patience, and to love and have compassion. These are no small orders.

As humans, we live through fear, surrounded by trauma, and struggle to just survive. This does not change when we are given gifts from the Infinite. As I experienced my first decade of being a Kundalini active person, I have come to realize this important lesson. Blessings on your spiritual journey! (Copyright 2017 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Wishing for Miracles

I recently was again fortunate enough to witness a miracle in my life.  This miracle came at a time when I was ready to give up and crumble under the pressures of my mission from the Infinite.

As many of my readers know, I was called on my second tour of duty on my recent mission from the Infinite to relocate across the country to work at a college in desperate need of help.  I assist and protect college students who have been sexually assaulted, physically assaulted through interpersonal violence, sexually harassed, and stalked. It is a daunting mission, as I am servicing a student population of 23,000.

In the past few weeks, I had hit an all time low, and felt completely defeated and overwhelmed as there is more awareness through the ##MeToo movement, and more cases than my office can handle.  I prayed hard for guidance from the Infinite to help me navigate the media coverage, federal and state audits, federal and state investigations of colleges, and the multitude of law suits.

During a recent state audit of my college, I was able to stand up and defend the positions taken by my office, and we overcame the obstacles in this audit.  Something within me gave me the strength and endurance to do this, and the result was a glowing review of my college.  I am so proud of the efforts by me and my team.  The events that unfolded during this audit proved to me that the Infinite is guiding me and looking out for our students.

Everyday, I am shown these great miracles and the truly blessed life that I live.  May you see and find these miracles in your life!  (Copyright 2018 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)