I believe everyone has fears of loss and abandonment, and that is one of my emotional issues. My mother left me when I was one years old, and my father never met me until I was eight. During my formative years (1-6 years old), I experienced abandonment. After my mother and father left Taiwan for the U.S., I was left with my maternal grandparents, and when they left for the U.S., I remained with my paternal grandparents until I was eight years old. This left deep scars within me.
During my past life recollections, I remember my mother died when I was a young native American boy in another lifetime. Yet in another lifetime, I recall my father abandoning my mother, sister, and me as I watched him drive away in his truck from our family farm. These traumas involving abandonment remain with my soul to the present day.
I recently entered into a romantic relationship, I believe, finally with my twin flame/soul. These old memories and emotional wounds still haunt me. As I proceed with my love, I fear him leaving me or loving another. These fears still plaque me in my heart as I earlier attracted many other men who did leave me and love another. This time, I realize that I must live beyond my ego filled with fear and doubt.
I currently use Observing Ego Practice to cope with these fears, but something is different this time. As he has been away in China this last week, I am beginning to feel a shift within me. I am missing him less and less each day as the week progresses, and I know you will think, this is terrible. Quite the contrary, in my aloneness, I prove to myself that I am never alone and that I can be independent and care for myself. I am freeing myself of co-dependency or attachment.
It is through unconditional love that I am with this man, and not because I depend on him for my existence. When I am alone now, I know that my life can continue with or without him, and that all will be okay. We can’t control when others will leave us, love another, or die, but I know I will be fine even if that comes to fruition. Even if my twin abandons me, I know my soul will still move forward as I am never truly alone. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).