Sacral Chakra Healing

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My biggest hurdle is my jealousy from a sacral chakra blockage caused by childhood sexual abuse.  This abuse began at the age of eight years old by my father creating an unhealthy triangulation between my father, my mother, and me.  My father also had many sexual and romantic partners while married to my mother.  My jealousy has to do with distrust of men, and feeling unworthy due to my relationship with my father.

Recently, I have felt pain and discomfort in my sacral chakra area, and suffer an urinary track infection.  When we have blockages within our chakras, we are more likely to experience physical problems and illnesses in that region of the body.  Although I am treating my symptoms with antibiotics, I must clear this deep and stubborn blockage in this chakra.

These blockages occur in many layers of pain and emotional wounds. I already have removed some of these deep and stubborn layers, but I still must work deeper and deeper to clear the remaining blockages.  I us the following six techniques:

1) Creative practice (Dance, art, music, singing, etc.)

2) Exercise, particularly in nature

3) Hip opening yoga postures

4) Crystal healing

5)  Throat chakra opening and clearing

6)  Learning to let go of your past through Emotional Release Practice

Good luck with your sacral chakra clearing and healing journey. Sending blessings of love!  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

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Loving Fearlessly

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When we live without fear, we are able to love fearlessly.  After five years of emotional healing and spiritual work, I finally learned to love fearlessly.  My fears of abandonment, being unloveable, and rejection are in my past, and I am living a different life now.

Recently, when I went through a box of old journals and notebooks, I found a page written in early 2013 about reading some books on Abraham Hicks on the law of attraction, and learning to energetically aligning with what we want.  Essentially, we energetically become what we want to attract.

Our aura or energetic frequency is composed of our emotional and mental vibrations.  Trauma, negative experiences, and emotional injuries create a certain vibration which attracts similar vibrations.  Many will meet or attract those who continue to abuse, hurt, and injure them, and cannot understand why this is happening as I did for a long time.

In this journal on this page, I found a list of things I wrote that I want in my life, including a loving, honest, and loyal relationship, a fulfilling and satisfying career, and my own healing and becoming my higher self. As I reflected on these words, I realize that I have received all that I asked for.

These miracles of finding my soulmate, finding a fulfilling job at a university where I am helping many students, and internal peace and love for myself are the results of changing my energetic frequency to attract what I want.  May you heal and attract what you want. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

Kundalini Energy as Catalyst

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Happy New Year!  In the new year, it is an opportunity to reflect on what I have learned about myself.  Shortly after the rise of my Kundalini energy in March 2011, I began to realize what this energy means to the world, and what it means to be Kundalini active.  It is both a blessing and a curse. Shortly before the rise of my Kundalini energy, I met a Kundalini active man.  After my Kundalini energy rose, I interacted with him for about four years, and it became clear to me how  Kundalini energy serves the world.

Kundalini energy serves as a catalysts for change, but many in the world whom we encounter are not ready for this change.  We frighten many people because interacting with us is like looking into a mirror.  We mirror back to others what they are not able to see due to their egos. However, when they encounter our Kundalini energy, it allows them to see things about themselves.

Many people I encounter react very negatively to me, and find my energy heightens their problems within them.  For example, if someone is a codependent, their behavior will worsen around me. If they have low esteem, their fears of being unworthy will be heighted around me.  Many have blamed me for causing these negative emotions, when in reality these problems are within them.  Although we can trigger these negative emotions, these emotions already exist within them.

Because Kundalini energy serves as catalysts, once we have served our purpose, we move on.  Just as catalysts in a chemical reaction does not remain with the reaction, we too move on to catalyze others.  It is helpful to know the catalytic purpose we serve for others.

Since meeting this Kundalini active man, other Kundalini active individuals have contacted me to engage, but I realize that these individuals will not likely remain in my life as I understand their purpose.  We would catalyze each other to assist each other in our spiritual growth, but the interaction may be quite turbulent due to the nature of Kundlaini energy.

I have declined these invitations as I have chosen to travel alone on my spiritual journey. I believe my path is the clearest when I am the solitary traveler. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

 

 

When the Lion Roars

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Today is my birthday, and I gave myself the best present one can give oneself.  I regained my power over my past, over my abuses, and by learning to protect my inner child. Here is my story.

As many of my readers know, I was abused as a child by my parents, and subsequently as an adult, I attracted and welcomed individuals who abused me. Yesterday, I was having dinner with a good friend for our respective birthdays.  After our server took a photo of us to commemorate this dinner,  I suddenly became faint, light-headed, and nauseous. Later, I realized that I experienced photo vertigo for the first time in my life.

When I returned home, a memory of my past involving an ex-boyfriend flashed into my head.  During this memory, I recalled Valentine’s Day with this man a couple of years ago.  During our Valentine’s Day dinner, we got into an argument about a past married girlfriend of his.  He became enraged during our dinner.

As I dropped him off at his home, there was a snowstorm that evening.  Because of the storm, I asked if I could stay overnight at his home.  He then stormed away from my car and told me to go home in the snowstorm.  The snowstorm had gotten so bad that I stayed in a hotel that night.

As I checked into the hotel, I texted him about my situation.  Not only did he not ask about my safety, he didn’t even respond.  This was the type of man I attracted into my life due to my past emotional injuries.  I chose him as my boyfriend, because I simply did not believe that I deserved any better treatment, or deserved love or protection.   Shortly after that incident, I broke things off with him, and now pray for him for his recovery.

This morning, I had a session with my massage therapist who also is a Reiki practitioner.  As we worked through a knee injury that I sustained last year, she explained that I had been keeping all my emotional pain and hurt in my knee chakra.  I also explained almost passing out at dinner last night with my friend from photo vertigo.

She is a intuitive healer who suggested that my photo vertigo may have been triggered by how my inner child had dealt with abuse. This reaction may have been my childhood ways of coping with abuse by leaving my physical body, since I have been recently working to release this emotional pain.

She was right that the photo vertigo incident triggered past memories of emotional abuse by this man as he also sexually assaulted me and gave me a sexually transmitted disease.  It was such a revelation about these recent events.

As we worked together, she facilitated the transmutation of this emotional pain into power energy to my solar plexus chakra.  I felt the energy moving through my major chakras into my heart chakra and out of my throat chakra.  It  also felt painful as this energy was being transmuted and released.  As I experienced this miracle, I began to cry from shear joy as did my therapist.

As we held each others’ hands, I knew that this was a watershed moment in my spiritual journey. This transmuting of my emotional pain into power through my power center or solar plexus chakra is nothing short of amazing.  I am freeing myself from the pain and emotional injuries stored within my physical body from many years of abuse.

On my birthday today,  I regained my power from victim to survivor.  I finally found love for my inner child and learned that I can protect her from harm.  I release my shame, hurt, and pain.  I believe that I deserve to be loved, protected, and honored for who I am.  Blessings and Namaste.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

Mirror, Mirror

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Have you ever wondered why you attract unsuitable partners and drama-filled friends into your life?  How many times have you said to yourself, why did I marry this person or date that person?  Why are my friends constantly in conflicts and involved in drama in their lives?  The answer is very simple.  It’s called chemistry, or we know it as energetic frequency in the spiritual community.

Everyone is fully aware of this phenomenom called chemistry.  It is why we are attracted to certain people and not others.  We like certain people and dislike other people.  Most of the time, we don’t really know exactly why this is only upon a brief meeting with another.

The explanation is quite simple, but many have difficulties accepting this.   We attract what we are, that is we attract those at the same vibrational frequency as us.  This causes the chemistry between two people.  If we vibrate at a different frequency than another, then we feel a dissonance or discord within our energy fields, and the result is repulsion or dislike of another.  It is simple quantum physics.

Over the course of human evolution, our egos have developed a protective mechanism of sorts to protect us from seeing the true realities about ourselves.  Our egos feed us information about ourselves that do not accurately reflect who we really are, also known as self perception.  For example, sex offenders and murders continue to offend because their egos justify their decisions, actions and habituated behaviors to allow them to continue, sometimes with more frequency and severity.

In extreme cases, it is called psychosis, delusion, or mental disorder.  However, everyone exhibits this phenomenon to some degree. So how do we truly see who we really are?  We observe those who we attract into our lives, and who they are as our egos are able to see others very accurately and precisely.  Observe who your partners and friends are.

In the course of my life, I was attracted, for most of my current life and previous lifetimes, to men who are sexual predators, philanders, cheaters, liars, and some were violent. I attracted women who are mentally ill and emotional unstable.  This told me quite a lot about myself who suffered from sexual and physical abuse from childhood by my father, and grew up with a mentally ill and undiagnosed mother.

I began to observe that there was something seriously wrong in my life after I left home and attended college.  In college, I began psychotherapy to help me figure out what was wrong in my life.  Through my recovery, I tried to overcome my attraction to abusive, predatory, and sometimes violent men.   In an attempt to overcome my problems, I married a very kind, honest, and devoted man, but I found him boring, unexciting, and had no chemistry with him.

This marriage did not survive because I again became attracted to abusive, predatory, and even violent men.  Even my intentional attempt to change my circumstances, I could not overcome my energetic frequency, and thus, my attraction to these men who are not good for me.  As time went on, it became clear to me that I must change my own energetic frequency to attract healthier, kinder, and more loving people into my life.

Thus, I began my spiritual journey when my Kundalini energy rose in March of 2011, and I relentlessly committed my efforts to heal my sexual and emotional injuries I sustained as a child and later as an adult.  I understood that I must change who I am to attract who I want into my life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

Only When We Are Ready

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It has been a long journey for many lifetimes for me, and never being ready.  However, now I am finaly ready to truly help others with their healing.  It has to do with non-reaction to others’ behaviors, actions, and comments about us.  When we heal ourselves, we no longer operate in our smaller selves.  We are centered, nonreactive, and have sufficient self esteem to feel good about ourselves irrespective to what others think, do, or say about us.

Our energy resonates at a higher vibration, and negative vibrations are no longer resonating in sync within our energy fields. When we finally reach this place, our own emotional wounds and injuries will no longer interfere with our interactions while helping others.  For example, I have observed many emotionally wounded individuals including Kundalini active ones helping others with their emotional healing.  Because they are resonating at the same frequency as those they are attempting to help, they become emotionally, sexually, and romatically involved, and unaware of the unhealthy and harmful involvements with others.

This involvement is both destructive and harmful to others and ourselves.  We can destroy our own lives, by committing betrayal against our loved ones, engaging in extra-marital affairs, and becoming involved in chaos and drama.  This is both self destructive as well as harmful to the very people we are trying to help.  Think twice before entering into such a situation. If you are not ready to help others, just admit that you are still not ready.

Case in point: in my early twenties before I began intensive emotional healing work, I attempted to work with abused and neglected children.  Because of my own emotional wounds, I was regularly triggered by the physical, sexually, and emotional abuse that my clients suffered.  As a result, I left that job as I was totally unprepared and unable to do this kind of work.  Many years later, I returned to work with sexually and physically assaulted college students only after much healing took place from my intensive healing work.

It is better to admit that we are not ready then to do harm to ourselves and others.  It takes wisdom and self awareness, albeit difficult, to make these admissions to ourselves. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

The Feeling of Falling Away

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The experience of falling away is a miraculous one.   During my spiritual journey, I have come to realize, it is really the falling away of who we are not.  Those are the layers of pain, hurt, and emotional injuries we have suffered over the course of our soul lives.  This journey of mine is really about losing those parts of me or the armor I developed over the course of many soul lives to protect myself.

As each layer is released or falls away, a truer part of me is revealed.  Sometimes, I don’t recognize myself as I no longer respond in my old ways through fear, resentment, and resistant.  Now, even under difficult or unpleasant situations, I smile at the situation, or laugh at how silly it is when I get bent out of shape about it.

Only in my dreams did I hope to live such a life.  My internal life is always stable and centered even when the rest of my life or the world is in complete chaos.  Those who hurt me no longer are able to hurt me as their actions and behaviors no longer matter to me, and my ego is no longer doing battle with other egos.

I no longer resonate with others who are filled with drama, chaos, anger, resentment, and hurt.  I am just so thankful energy that resonate at different frequencies no longer attract me, and I don’t feel their negative vibrations.  Energy does not lie, and we are how we vibrate. No amount of hiding it can cover up our energetic vibrations even when we pretend to be nice, con others, or lie about our intentions.

This is my new life, and I am smiling all the way.   (Copyright 2016 Awakeningn Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

 

 

Clearing Old Energy

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I have been going through a phase where everything in my life appears on its face to be going wrong.  My visits with friends are making me feel ill.   I feel disconnected from my job that at one point served as my purpose in life.  My current life feels all out of kilter.  What I have come to realize that is happening is that old energy is clearing out.

What felt comfortable and normal to me earlier in my life no longer fits or feels comfortable now.  I am now aware daily that as I change, I need to make changes in my life. I realize that I may not be resonating at the same frequency as I had earlier in my life.  Many things are falling away as what attracted me earlier, no longer attracts me now.

It is disconcerting to me as my mind has not caught up with these changes. This dramatic change has occurred even within the last year.  My mind feels confused by what is happening.   Why don’t I respond the same way to people, situations, and events as I did earlier?  I am elated by this change, but I am changing faster than my mind is able to keep up.

This period of my emotional growth spurt is encouraging me to move to another part of the country to meet new people, start a new job, and begin the next phase of my life. This morning during my preparation for my eventual relocation, I began crying and mourning my past as I release it and let it go.  My past has served its purpose, but I will miss certain things about it.

Ironically, I also realize that if I want to move forward, I must let go of people, things, and events of my past.  It is bittersweet.  Good-bye, I have no regrets and I will miss you all.  Sending love from afar. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

On the Road Home

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This past weekend of Reiki Master training provided the reflection I needed to focus on my spiritual healing journey forward.  As I commune with others, I needed to decide if I am ready to begin my Reiki practice, and upon further reflection, I realized that I need to take more time to heal myself.  It took me several days to figured this out.

As an emapth, I am able to feel others physical pains when I touch them.  Recently, I have acquired others pain and continue to feel it after I stopped touching them.  At first I thought I was taking on others physical pains, but upon further analysis, I believe my existing unresolved emotional pain was triggerd, and when that emotional pain was triggered, it manifested in physical pain.  In other words, I have the same emotional pain within as the person whom I touched that is why I continue to feel this pain after I stop touching them.

This shows me that I have not sufficiently resolved the emotional pain within me to begin my Reiki practice. Reiki practice will force me to touch others and be within their energy fields for an hour or more. Therefore, I need to be sufficiently stabilized within my own emotional, physical, energetic, and astro bodies in order to properly do the healing for others.  My motto is first heal thyself, then you will be able to heal others.

This also tells me that I still need to continue my current day job then as I am ready, begin to integrate my Reiki practice first as part-time then full-time.  I also decided to move to another school as I have done all that I can in my current school in putting in place the system and structure to help sexually assaulted, physical abused, and sexually harassed victims.  I am still overcoming my own fears of leaving these students, but there are good people here to carry on this work.

I still pray everyday for guidance so that I am doing the right thing for the students and coworkers I love.  May you find your path forward.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)