Signs of Twin Flames

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Many have commented and questioned about my Twin Flame relationship.  These are the 14 signs and symptoms of Twin Flames relationship based on my personal experience as follows:

* Synchronicity and organic initial meeting (we met in person in Cinque Terre, Italy        when we both live in the United States)
* Sexual experiences together are tantric (dual energetic circuits)
* Rise of Kundalini energy during the journey together
* Able to feel each other’s emotions and experiences from the beginning (energetically        and emotionally)
* Similar life experiences and emotional landscapes although different races, ethnicity,        and cultures
* Incredible compatibility (best friends)
* Intense sexual and energetic connection ( intense sexual chemistry)
* Time stands still during our journey together
* Similar core values
* Similar spiritual journeys
* Similar professions
* Similar interests
* Similar lifestyle
* Similar tastes and preferences

These are the 14 signs and symptoms that I have experienced with my Twin Flame while others may experience other connections .   Although we also may experience these symptoms between two Kundalini active individuals, the compatibility and similarity between the two individuals are likely to diverge in their values, professions, interests, lifestyle, tastes and preferences.  Every Twin Flame experience is slightly different, but the similarities outweigh the differences.  It is both a compatible existence, but also a sexually intense connection.

The key to Twin Flame success is the ability to communicate about the intensity of this relationship, and working through the spiritual and emotional hurdles we face together.  My twin and I spend time each day to share how we are progressing on our respective spiritual journeys and our emotional healing progress.  We talk openly and authentically about our fears and how to work through the darkness we each face.  Twin Flames trigger each other’s emotional wounds, and reflect back to one another our darkness and lightness.

When I address my concerns about my twin, I am truly addressing my own injuries and wounds.  Whenever issues arise between us, I know I must do my own emotionally healing work just as he must do his work.  We are working hard and progressing forward together as his Kundalini energy is rising now, and his emotional work must be done in order for this Kundalini rising to be smooth and without so much physical pain and discomfort as it was for me.  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

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Kundalini Energy is Not a Twin Flame Connection

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Unfortunately, I found this out the hard way.  Kundalini energy is not a twin flame connection.  If you have raised your Kundalini energy, and are involved with another Kundalini active person, it may feel like a twin flame connection.  This is why.  Kundalini energy is sexual energy that when shared with another has similar energetic feel because we are able to feel others’ thoughts, feelings, intentions, and feel sexually heightened due to this energy.

I am writing this post to share with those who are involved with another Kundalini active individual and believe they are your twin flame.  They probably are not.  Since my relationship with a Kundalini active man, I then dated non-Kundalini active men that felt very much ordinary until I met my twin flame.  It is only after entering into a romantic relationship with my twin that I realized that two Kundalini active individuals’ energy connection feel very much like a twin flame connection.

Here is the big difference.  Although this energetic connection may feel like a twin flame connection, there are few commonalities and similarities as twin flame would have.  If you believe you are in a twin flame relationships, the tell tale signs that you are not are that you may have some similarities, but live very different lifestyles, have differing interests, have different personalities, and did not meet in an organic way such as meeting in person.

When I met my twin flame in Italy in 2013, I did not recognize him as my twin because my spiritual work and emotional healing had not reached a level of full self awareness, and recognition of my own darkness. My ego was still running my life, and I was still connected in my mind to past karmic relationships.  Until I overcame my dark past, let go of my karmic relationships, and released my ego, I could not see him clearly although I felt him energetically.

This post is a warning to the wise that if you are Kundalini active and are engaged with another Kundalini active individual, and believe they are are your twin flame, you may be fooling yourself and still living in an illusion.  There are no short cuts to meeting your twin flame.  Like me, it took me a while to realize my reality, but ultimately, we all do. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Kundalini Syndrome Revisits

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It has been awhile when I last posted, since I have been busy moving, getting settled, starting a new job and relationship. It is everything I asked for, so don’t wish too hard, you may actually get what you want.  Last night, I experienced an episode of Kundalini syndrome that I have not experienced for about two years.

As I slept, I felt this surging energy in my solar plexus chakra as my Kundalini energy became blocked there.  Initially, I thought I was experiencing indigestion as I had a late supper of spicy Thai food.  After taking medication and my symptoms did not subside, I realize that I was experiencing my Kundalini energy becoming blocked in my solar plexus chakra.

I have been fully aware of issues in my new relationship as he became more demanding of my time asking to spend a large part of my weekend, and traveling during the week to his concerts.  As I have a very emotionally demanding job of working with sexually assaulted students, my energy was completely depleted last night as I drove one and half hour each way to attend his concert.

As I drove to the concert, I knew that I needed to take back my power by setting healthy boundaries, as his behavior was becoming codepedent which is a behavior that I have been trying to break.  I did not bring up these issues with him after the concert and when I returned home, the energy in my solar plexus chakra began vibrating vigorously while I felt terrible pain in my stomach and abdomen.  This went on for most of the night, and I was unable to sleep for most of the night.

When I awoke the next morning, the pain had subsided some, and I called my boyfriend describing what I had experienced. I also requested some limits on our time with each other as well as why I needed this time to take care of my myself and the things I need to do for my life.  He was very understanding and agreed that limitation on time together will benefit him as well.  Almost immediately after our conversation, the pain in my solar plexus chakra completely vanished.

The miracle of Kundalini energy is that it will alert me of the problems when I fail to address them in my life.  It keeps me honest and authentic because when I am not true to myself, I experience physical pain which I then must determine the origin of the blockage to my Kundalini energy.  It is both a blessing and a curse, but it helps me navigate my life. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

Creating Our Illusions

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Through addiction, we create an  illusion for our lives. Some are addicted to people called codependency, some to places called destination addiction, some to substances such as drugs or alcohol, and some to activities such as work, gambling or gaming.

Addiction is a form of self medication or negative coping skill we developed to deal with our trauma or loss. It is a way of escaping or suppressing the negative emotions that exist within us. We even find others or are attracted to others with the same addiction to validate our illusions.

I had destination addiction for a long time. The big difference in my life now is I no longer wish I am somewhere else to be happy. Every day, I recalled an exotic location to dream about my happiness there. These day dreams would be a romantizied memory of my past. This is called destination addiction, and truly is only an escape from my unhappy life.

I am learning to find happiness within myself wherever I am. True happiness does not exist in another place, even a beautiful place. True happiness is in the current moment in your present life. May you find happiness where you are! (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Through Dreams

 

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In my dreams last night, I said goodbye to those in my past who I will not have an opportunity to say goodbye as I move onto the next phase of my journey.  In my dream, I spoke to each person separately saying my farewells.  My interaction with these important individuals who I encountered on my journey either taught me lessons, tested me, or showed me truths about myself.

Although they are no longer in my life now, their contributions to my emotional healing and spiritual growth were necessary, and I thank them as I no longer harbor any animosity or ill will against them. We must be willing to let go of these relationships by understanding that they no longer lead somewhere as our time together have ended.

Letting go feels like a huge weight has lifted from my heart. My higher self tells me to let go, and don’t hang on because this letting go is necessary for me to move forward as I no longer need to carry such heavy baggage with me along my journey.

As I lighten my load on my journey, I gave away possessions, gave away valuables, and gave up emotional pain and hurt.  The lightening of my load means to release, let go, and forgive myself and others.  It is through this letting go that gives us peace and harmony, allows us to find happiness and joy, and attracts love and passion into our lives.

After giving up the people, places, and situations of my past, I shall finally find my dreams and peace, joy, and love will naturally flow into my life.  I will finally get a second chance at my life. In 2017, may you find your dreams. (Copyright 2o16 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

First Step to Transformation

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It has taken me most of this lifetime to find inner peace.  It has always been illusive to me because I wanted to control everyone, everything, and all situations around me.  As a person who experienced childhood abuse, this is the natural response after experiencing trauma. Most people are on auto pilot using the same negative behaviors and coping skills throughout our lives.

Many people including myself engaged in negative behaviors or coping skills without any awareness as that was how we survived our trauma.  We continue to use the same coping skills and negative behaviors in our every day life until one day we see patterns exhibited in our lives full of failures, disappointments, and frustrations.

We awaken to who we have become as a result of our negative experiences, traumas, or abuses.  This awakening is the realization that our lives are not the outcomes we had hope, and is not the life we want to be living.  It is a rude awakening for many of us including myself.  I had become the person that I vowed never to become.

This realization, recognition, and acknowledgment of who I had become was a necessary step to changing my life. It is not an optional step in transformation.  Many people who are alcoholic, drug addicts, abusers, etc. will tell you that every recovery program requires this acknowlegment before recovering may begin.

Sometimes, the first step is the hardest.  The recovery work is difficult, but recovery cannot take place until we have acknowledged our problems and reality. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Living in Fear

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Most of us may not even realize it, but we live with constant fear nearly every minute of every day. Fear is not just about being frightened about any particular thing, person, or event, it is a mental state.  This is what I feared.  I feared change, abandonment, rejection, trusting others, being unlovable, being unworthy, being alone, and being injured again.

The problem with this fearful mental state is that we do not take any risks, and cannot grow or move forward.  Although I wanted very much to move foward, I was stuck and living in the purgatory of this mental state. I lived in this misery for a long time.

Another problem with living in this fearful mental state is that we will attract this exact energy that we fear.  Like energy attracts like energy, and I met others who abandoned me, rejected me, told me I was unworthy, deceived and lied to me, or physically or sexually injured me.  I created more misery for myself, and lived in this misery for a very long time.

The third problem is that our perceptions because of our fears will keep us in this fearful mental loop.  If we fear being abandoned, we attract this energy into our lives, and then we are abandoned by them.  We convince ourselves that we are victims because what we fear actually came true so others are doing this to us just like we fear. This is called victim mentally, and  I lived in this misery for a even longer time.

A critical part of moving forward and overcoming these fears is our willingness to face our own fears.  This is what I did.  I decided to leave my marriage and live alone because I fear being alone. I purchased a house and a car on my own.  I began to change my life first with small things like standing up for myself, uncluttering my life as I can be a hoarder, and learned to set healthy boundaries.

I began to work on my self worth and esteem by learning to accept who I am, including my light and darkness, with the belief that I can overcome my darkness.  I began to take care of myself by going to the doctor, exercising, eating healthier, and making better life choices.  I coupled these efforts with emotional release practice, and other healing modalities.  Please see my earlier post on “Emotional Release Practice.”

In other words, I began to work on myself by looking inward, and taking responsibilty for my own life choices.  With these efforts, my life started to change as I began attracting different people, situations, and events into my life that was different from my earlier life.  This is how I know what I am doing is actually working.

When we confront our fears, and take responsibility for our life choices, we begin to attract very different energy into our life, and the outcomes reflect this new energy. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

Love: Living Beyond Dependency

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The truth is that most of our relationships are dependencies.  Love is unconditional while dependency requires the condition that we are with the other person or that we serve certain conditions in each other’s lives.  Dependency is a form of addiction.  All my relationships until recently have been dependencies, either serving as a victim or an enabler.

As I move forward on my spiritual journey, I have very honest conversations with myself about who I still have dependency relationships in my current life.  These are the signs I have come to realize that strongly indicate dependency relationships:

  1. If either person fears doing or saying things as the other will become upset or angry.
  2.  If either person become upset or angry when they can’t control outcomes.
  3. If either person is not happy for the other when one is successful and moving forward in their life.
  4. If either person will not allow relationships with third-parties without jealousy, drama, or arguments.
  5. If either person feel that their happiness is dependent on the other in this relationship, and can’t live without the other.
  6. If either person needs to seek love outside of themselves.
  7. If either person is waiting to be saved (victim), or is a care giver (enabler).
  8. If either person blames the other for how they feel or their failures.

If these signs exhibit in your relationships, you have dependency relationships with others. Before I began my spiritual journey five years ago, I exhibited all these signs in all my relationships, and I was a difficult person to be with. I loathed myself, had little self esteem, and gave from a place of lack.  When I raised my consciousness about who I was, it was difficult to see this darkness about myself.

I began to change my life for the better, once I was able to see the truth about myself. I began to learn self acceptance, self love, independence, self sufficiency, and ridding the negative patterns in my life one of which is leaving dependency relationships behind.  Even if these relationships are virtual like on social media, I can still feel their anger and rage through their words and energy.

With each day, I leave more and more dependency relationships behind as I prefer being alone to dependency relationships in my life now.   Sometimes, it takes great determination to leave these people, things, and situations that no longer serve our highest potential.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

Accepting the End

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When I saw this above meme, I realize it was speaking to me.  For the past five years, I have been letting go of everything I have ever known or understood about my own life.  It is a gradual process of releasing my ego’s identity and how I see myself.  It is the Dark Night of the Soul as many describe on their spiritual journeys.

This awareness and recognition of who I was and my darkness within, gave me the vision and intention to change my life once and for all.  Along the way, I had to leave my old negative patterns of behaviors and thinking, and leaving people, things and places behind in order to transform my own life.

I do not believe it is possible to keep your old life, and live a completely different new life. In my opinion, it is an illusion and fiction we tell ourselves so as to avoid doing the necessary hard and real emotional work in order to transform and heal.

I have observed many including Kundalini active individuals who exist through spiritual bypass.  Please see my earlier post on “Awareness of Spiritual Bypass.”  During spiritual bypass, they focus on intuitive powers and only on the spiritual light, experience ego inflation, avoid the darkness that is within each of us, or engaged in inappropriate or abusive behaviors convincing themselves that this is intended to help others.  Unfortunately, a life changing or traumatic event in their lives will bring them back to their unresolved emotional issues as they have been operating in ego or smaller selves.

I have come to understand that Kundalini active individuals are no different than others.  Although we have heightened intuitive abilities and have the ability to accerelerate our emotional healing, if we don’t raise our consciousness, release our egos, or confont the darkness within us, no healing will take place and our intuitive abilities may be used to harm others through manipulations by convincing ourselves that this is intended to help others.

I have been the victim of such spiritual abuse and have observed Kundalini active individuals engaged in sexual exploitation, sexual molestation, sexual assault, marital infidelity, and others boundary violations. I have since forgiven them for these trepasses. However, if you don’t use your gifts for good, you can lie to yourself and others by convincing yourself that these violations are to help and benefit others.

Our ego’s denial is a tricky thing, and we all fall prey to it.  If we identify with ego, we will believe this denial.  It is easier to just see the light within ourselves, but it is the darkness within that we must confront and transform before true light is possible.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)