Reflecting on Past Lessons


In the last couple of months, I have been reflecting on my journey for the past five years.  It is coming full circle, I reflected on the men I earlier attracted who were similar to my father.  One person was so similar to my father as his son also does not speak to him and even changed his last name.  Like me, I have not spoken to my father in 25 years because he abuses children and women. Many in his life do not associate or speak to him which is extremely sad.  I recently saw people connected to this man in my passing and wondered what that means.

Like me, many of the women I attracted into my life were equally broken and emotionally troubled similar to my mother.  Many believe they are healed and are healer themselves.  We are all attracted to the kind of men I earlier attracted.  How can we be well if we are attracted to abusers of children and women?  This was my past, and I intend to keep them in my past as I have changed so dramatically.  At some point, we all move forward past these troubled people, as we no longer share this wounded and negative energy.

The irony is that these individuals truly believe they are well and healed because they speak of positive and spiritual things.  However, they do not practice them.  Their behaviors are not congruent to what they preach.  They preach love and healing and claim to be awaken, but they engage in infidelity with others, lie about and to themselves and others, and use their intuitive abilities to manipulate others and for self gain.  They have high tolerance for inappropriate bahaviors as they practice spiritual bypass.

In the end, karma caught up with them and they lost those they love, their financial stability, and their lives as they knew it.   Proof is in the pudding!  How our life is reflects what we have done in our life.  It is no one else’s fault, and only we are responsible for the outocome of our own life. Reflect upon your life to determine what you have done in your life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)



Art and the Artist


As some of you may know, I am an amateur artist in that I don’t sell my art work professionally. My interest in art began as a form of emotional healing and art therapy.  It has helped me tremendously to tap into my right brain where I believe emotional healing can take place.  As I delve deeper into art, I have met many artist friends, and in fact, about a third of my friends on Facebook are artists.

As I study art, I find so many famous artists are troubled human beings. They are drug addicts, alcoholics, philanders, and many are bipolar and suicidal.   Many are self-centered people, egomaniacs, and narcissists.   These artists include Jackson Pollack, Picasso, Rodin, Salvador Dali, Georgia O’Keef, Vincent Van Gogh, just to name a few of the world renowned ones.  I have included an article, about why this is, called Creative Madness.

People frequently confuse the artist with their art work.  I have learned that there is a big difference between the art and the artist.  We can appreciate their art, but not necessarily the artist.   We do not necessarily want to emulate the narcissistic behaviors of the artist, but only the creativity and beauty of their art work.  That is what I am striving for and believe that we can create beautiful art but we don’t need to be addicts, philanders, and suicidal to be artists.

Narcissistic or egomaniacal behaviors are choices they make, and it is not inherent in being an artist.  Regrettably, many great artists end up dead from addictions or suicides.  How sad is that?  Make art, but also make a good life for yourself as an artist without addiction, philandering, and living in self destruction.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

The Miracle of Healing


For every effort we make towards emotional healing, we are rewarded with a positive outcome. This is what I have learned from the spiritual ascension work that I have been doing to heal my past emotional wounds.  In the past three and half years, I have worked tirelessly to recover from my emotional wounds in order to be with those I love.

When we are emotionally injured from trauma, abuse, and other negative experiences, many of us develop trauma symptoms such as  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, depression, anxiety, etc.  These symptoms prevent us from interacting with others, particularly those who caused this emotional injury.

I have not spoken or interacted with my parents for many years because of the childhood abuse and trauma.  As a result, I was forced to stay away, and limit all contacts with them.  When I earlier interacted with them, I experienced horrible depression and anxiety attacks.  Through the support and guidance of my therapist, I wrote letters to my parents explaining that I was unable to have any contacts with them.

As I have recently healed much of my childhood trauma and abuse, I feel ready to interact with them again.  My hopes of reuniting with my parents are finally coming true!  I don’t know what that relationship will look like, but I am excited that I will have a chance to experience a different relationship with them.  (Copyright 2014 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)

The Cycle of Pain


In my earlier post, I shared with you that I have been observing those around me who are stuck in the cycle of pain.  What this cycle is – while I have personally experienced this for most of my life – involves denial of our emotional pain.  Through this denial, we suppress or repress this emotional pain thereby projecting our problems onto others around us, live with anxiety attacks and depression, or live with serious physical ailments.  We also use escape through addiction or dissociation to cope with this pain, or express this pain through hostility, rage, or anger towards others.

Being stuck in this cycle is like living in hell.  I recall the years of living this way where I wanted to die to ease the pain.  There is a way out of this hell through the methods discuss on my blog, beginning with “Emotional Release Practice” found at this tab on my Blogsite Homepage.  This cycle of pain cause us to lose those we love, thereby creating more emotional pain, repeating this cycle over and over again in our soul lives.

Many believe that if they kill themselves that this pain would end.  Unfortunately, when we return in another lifetime, we continue with the same energy body left from the previous incarnation.  This negative energy remains in our energy body or aura including past negative karma called the painbody.  You either do the work now or do the work later, as there are no short cuts to rid our emotional pain stored in our painbody.  May you find your path to healing.  (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

The Dangers of Denial


Sometimes when we deny what is truly happening to us emotionally, mentally, or physically, we say and believe that only we are affected by this, so what’s the big deal?  Well, the truth is that those we love in our lives also are negatively affected by this, and our loved ones end up leaving us because of it.  This is true of addicts, abusers, and those who suffer from mental and physical illnesses who refuse to acknowledge their problems or to get help.

Recently, I had just this experience as I was a passenger in car of someone who has panic and anxiety attacks in traffic.  This person nearly got into an accident, and almost drove off the highway in her panic.  Because of her shame, she never told me until I observed her panic attack while she was driving.   She even asked me not to tell anyone about her condition.

When you ask a friend to risk her life, refuse to disclose this condition to others, and then ask your friend to hide this condition that can potentially injure others, it is highly irresponsible, if not dangerous to herself and others.  Denial can be dangerous as it not only harms you, but anyone who happens to be involved in your life.

If we refuse to help ourselves to heal, why should anyone else help or support us, and the only support we really want from others is to perpetuate this condition, and hide the problem.  The only conclusion in these situations is that everyone we love will leave us as they simply cannot watch us self destruct. (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Why Hurt People Hurt Others?

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Why do people who have been wounded hurt others?  Whether our collective ego as a society or our individual egos, ego prevents us from seeing our emotional problems as a society and individually.  Repressing and Suppressing feelings from our emotional trauma, pain, and wounds are caused by fear and guilt when our egos, through our minds, instantly will thrust these feelings into the unconscious as soon as it tries to emerge.  What we experience are denial and projection in our lives. These repressed feelings are so threatening that we will project them onto the world and those around us.  We experience these feelings as if they belong to others.  “They” become the enemy, and the mind searches for and finds justification to reinforce these projections.  Blame is placed on people, places, institutions, food, climatic conditions, astrological events, social conditions, fate, God, luck, the devil, foreigners, ethnic groups, political rivals, and other things outside of us.

As a result of these suppressed and repressed feelings, we blame and lash out at others as we project and experience these feelings as if they belong to others and truly believe that others are our enemy trying to hurt us.  Our minds search for and finds justifications to reinforce these projections to substantiate our illusions. We, as a society, commit mass murders, holocausts, genocides, and wars all resulting from our justifications to reinforce these projections so to substantiate our illusions as a society.  We, as individuals, commit revenge, retaliation, abuse, violence, coercion, and control others in our individual lives as we justify our own illusions.

The first step to overcoming our suppressed and repressed feelings, and thus, our denials, projections, and justifications is awareness by looking inward to acknowledge what is really happening to us.  Once we come to recognize that our illusions are self created by our egos through our own minds, we can begin the hard work of dealing and working through our suppressed and repressed feelings associated with our emotional trauma, pain, and wounds.  The two practices I use are “Emotional Release Practice” and “Observing Ego Practice” found at these tabs on my Blogsite Homepage.  May you overcome your illusions. (Copyright 2014 Kundalinin Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Understanding How We Handle Feelings

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I currently am reading “Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender,” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., who is a practicing psychiatrist, spiritual teacher, author, and speaker on the subject of advanced spiritual states and consciousness research.  I am writing to share relevant sections of his book in this post to help you identified issues on your spiritual journey and emotional healing.

We handle our emotions or feelings in three major ways, suppression/repression, expression, and escape.  Suppression and repression are the most common ways our minds push feelings down.  First, suppression is done consciously, while repression is done unconsciously.   How do we know we are suppressing feelings?  “The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tensions in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies, and other somatic conditions.”  How do we know we are repressing feelings?  Repression is caused by fear and guilt when our minds instantly will thrust feelings into the unconscious as soon as it tries to emerge.  What we experience are denial and projection in our lives. These repressed feelings are so threatening that we will project them onto the world and those around us.  We experience these feelings as if they belong to others.  “‘They’  become the enemy, and the mind searches for and finds justification to reinforce the projection.  Blame is placed on people, places, institutions, food, climatic conditions, astrological events, social conditions, fate, God, luck, the devil, foreigners, ethnic groups, political rivals, and other things outside of us.”

Second, expression is when our feelings are vented, verbalized, or stated in body language, and acted out in endless group demonstrations.  Many believe that expressing our feelings free us of our feelings, but the fact is to the contrary.  “The expression of a feeling, first, tends to propagate that feeling and give it greater energy.  Second, the expression of the feeling merely allows the remainder to be suppressed out of awareness.”  “If we dump our negative feelings on others, they experience it as an attack and they, in turn, are forced to suppress, express, or escape the feelings; therefore, the expression of negativity results in deterioration and destruction of relationships.  A far better alternative is to take responsibility for our own feelings and neutralize them.  Then, only positive feelings remain to be expressed.”

Third, “[e]scape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion.”  This is the socially condoned mechanism, when we use alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, food, work, TV, texting, social media, shopping, etc, and other frantic activities to keep our minds busy to avoid our feelings.  As our dependency upon these activities grow, they become addictions that control and ultimately destroy ourselves and our lives.

“Each of [the above mechanisms] requires increasing amounts of energy in and of itself.  Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressure of the suppressed and repressed feelings.”  This can result in physical illness, mental conditions, and stress that is the physical result of keeping these feelings suppressed and how we emotionally respond to external stimuli triggering these feelings.  If you can identify any of these above symptoms, as I have, then it is time to do the hard emotional work of letting go of the negative feelings built up in your emotional landscape and energy fields through “Emotional Release Practice” found at this tab on my Blogsite Homepage.

Excerpts from “Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender,” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Photo source: No source identified

Uncovering Sex Addiction


Last night, I saw a movie on sex addiction called “Thanks for Sharing.”  To find out if you or someone you love suffer from sex addiction, please see this LINK.  Through this movie, I realized that sex addiction is similar to alcohol or drug addiction, as it is used to mask emotional pain.  Addicts resort to their chosen addictions when they have difficulties in their lives as they have unresolved emotional problems that they have no healthy ways of coping.  Addictions are the result of our refusal to confront our emotional issues and problems and to do the hard work to overcome them.

Through this movie, I saw that sex addicts spend a lot time on their televisions or computers as sex addicts frequent porn channels, cybersex sites, and sex chat rooms to masturbate to satisfy their addictions.  Serious sex addicts have multiple sexual partners, use prostitutes, and even resort to sexual assault and harassment to satisfy their addictions. Sex addicts do not emotionally bond with their sexual partners, so cybersex and porn satisfy their sexual compulsions without any strings attached.  The need for multiple sexual partners also is uncontrollable for sex addicts as they do not  use discretion in choosing their sexual partners or practice safe sex resulting in contracting STD’s.

What’s the problem with enjoying a little sex you say? It’s a serious problem when it takes over your life, when your marriage ends in divorce, you spend thousands of dollars on porn and cybersex, contract STD’s and spread it to your loved ones, your children refuse contacts with you, you lose your job, you have no true intimacy in your relationships, and you may even get arrested for sexual assault and sexual battery (non-consensual touching) of others.   This is no longer enjoying a little sex, but true crisis in your life when your life is controlled by your sex addiction.

You can take a screening test to determine if you or someone you know suffer from sex addiction at this LINK.  To find a support group for sex addiction in your area, please see this LINK.  There is so much shame and guilt related to this illness, but there is help and support available.  Please get help for yourself as your loved ones pray for your recovery.  (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Kundalini Uncovered

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Kundalini energy is a dormant sexual energy resting in the sacrum area of our spine. Kundalini energy resides dormant in everyone, and can rise in anyone as well.  What happens when Kundalini energy rises when you are young without knowledge or defenses to cope with it?  The rise of Kundalini energy may appear as a psychotic break, mental illness, or physical illness as described by many Kundalini active individuals.

When Kundalini energy rises when we are young, this can be very traumatic and difficult situation as Kundalini energy is sexual energy. When this sexual energy rises, it may attract those who feel attracted to sexual energy such as sexual predators and offenders.  Those who are Kundalini active suffer from abuse and trauma just like everyone else, and the result from the trauma is then intensified as Kundalini energy intensified our emotional problems and mental conditions.

It is not unlikely that those who are Kundalini active from a young age may struggle with life issues as they are unable to handle this intense rising sexual energy when they have little to no guidance about this condition. After struggling myself with my own Kundalini rising, I feel compassion for younger individuals facing Kundalini rising when their parents have no idea what is happening to their child.

As an adult, I have the life skills to find out what is happening to me, and the resources to find those in the medical and spiritual community with understanding about Kundalini energy.  As children, we depend on our parents to find a way to help with coping and stabilizing this Kundalini energy.  Many parents have put their children into mental hospitals believing their children are experiencing a psychotic breakdown or severe mental illness.

Here are some links to resources to help with surviving Kundalini crisis:

Kundalini Symptoms

Phases of Kundalini

Managing Kundalini Symptoms

Proper Kundalini Diet  

Kundalini Resources and Books

Blessings on your Kundalini journey, Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Photo source: Chakra Art