Steps to Healing Past Emotional Pain

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During these past few months, I have been confronted with some deep seeded distrust as a result of my childhood abuse by and a philandering father.  As an adult, I attracted men like my father into my life causing more emotional injury and trauma to my life.   This has translated into distrust of men that is deeply ingrained within me.  These past emotional injuries resulted in deep blockages within my sacral and heart chakras.  In my attempts to unblock these chakras, I have tried the following methods:

  • Letting go what you can’t control and letting go of past emotions and behaviors through intention, belief, and actions
  • Awareness of triggering thoughts, events, and statements by simply observing them without reaction
  • Acknowledge your fears through stating them out loud or writing them down
  • Forgive yourself and others for past mistakes and failures by accepting your past
  • Learning to love yourself through self care, setting healthy boundaries with others, and nurturing yourself

At the root of distrust is the lack of self love and fear.  When we fear betrayal and being hurt again, we have not forgiven ourselves and others for injuring us.  We have not learned to love ourselves through setting clear and healthy boundaries with others, and taking responsibility for and control of our actions that are forms of self love.

When we learn to let go of the past through clear intentions that we no longer want certain emotions and behaviors in our lives, we follow up with the belief that we can and will change them, then follow through with consistent change in our actions.  Good luck with healing your past emotional pain. (Copyright 2017 with All Rights Reserved)

 

Sacral Chakra Healing

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My biggest hurdle is my jealousy from a sacral chakra blockage caused by childhood sexual abuse.  This abuse began at the age of eight years old by my father creating an unhealthy triangulation between my father, my mother, and me.  My father also had many sexual and romantic partners while married to my mother.  My jealousy has to do with distrust of men, and feeling unworthy due to my relationship with my father.

Recently, I have felt pain and discomfort in my sacral chakra area, and suffer an urinary track infection.  When we have blockages within our chakras, we are more likely to experience physical problems and illnesses in that region of the body.  Although I am treating my symptoms with antibiotics, I must clear this deep and stubborn blockage in this chakra.

These blockages occur in many layers of pain and emotional wounds. I already have removed some of these deep and stubborn layers, but I still must work deeper and deeper to clear the remaining blockages.  I us the following six techniques:

1) Creative practice (Dance, art, music, singing, etc.)

2) Exercise, particularly in nature

3) Hip opening yoga postures

4) Crystal healing

5)  Throat chakra opening and clearing

6)  Learning to let go of your past through Emotional Release Practice

Good luck with your sacral chakra clearing and healing journey. Sending blessings of love!  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Signs of Twin Flames

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Many have commented and questioned about my Twin Flame relationship.  These are the 14 signs and symptoms of Twin Flames relationship based on my personal experience as follows:

* Synchronicity and organic initial meeting (we met in person in Cinque Terre, Italy        when we both live in the United States)
* Sexual experiences together are tantric (dual energetic circuits)
* Rise of Kundalini energy during the journey together
* Able to feel each other’s emotions and experiences from the beginning (energetically        and emotionally)
* Similar life experiences and emotional landscapes although different races, ethnicity,        and cultures
* Incredible compatibility (best friends)
* Intense sexual and energetic connection ( intense sexual chemistry)
* Time stands still during our journey together
* Similar core values
* Similar spiritual journeys
* Similar professions
* Similar interests
* Similar lifestyle
* Similar tastes and preferences

These are the 14 signs and symptoms that I have experienced with my Twin Flame while others may experience other connections .   Although we also may experience these symptoms between two Kundalini active individuals, the compatibility and similarity between the two individuals are likely to diverge in their values, professions, interests, lifestyle, tastes and preferences.  Every Twin Flame experience is slightly different, but the similarities outweigh the differences.  It is both a compatible existence, but also a sexually intense connection.

The key to Twin Flame success is the ability to communicate about the intensity of this relationship, and working through the spiritual and emotional hurdles we face together.  My twin and I spend time each day to share how we are progressing on our respective spiritual journeys and our emotional healing progress.  We talk openly and authentically about our fears and how to work through the darkness we each face.  Twin Flames trigger each other’s emotional wounds, and reflect back to one another our darkness and lightness.

When I address my concerns about my twin, I am truly addressing my own injuries and wounds.  Whenever issues arise between us, I know I must do my own emotionally healing work just as he must do his work.  We are working hard and progressing forward together as his Kundalini energy is rising now, and his emotional work must be done in order for this Kundalini rising to be smooth and without so much physical pain and discomfort as it was for me.  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Moving Through Fear

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Fear is like waves on the ocean that come in ebbs and flows.  This is what I have been experiencing after a recent argument with my Twin Flame.  His behaviors triggered my past injury that felt so painful that I reacted in a way I have not reacted in over 15 years.  I thought that injury was healed, but I am realizing that I still am emotionally wounded.

This emotional wound causes me to behave with distrust, jealousy, and fear of betrayal.  I also realized and acknowledge that this wound is within me.  I believe that my twin and I share similar emotional wounds causing us to trigger each other, and share the same fear of being injured again.  I have been observing my thoughts and feelings as these waves of fear hit me.

Last night, I admitted to my Twin Flame my deepest fear of no longer being young and pretty as I age.  My fear is that someday in the near future, he will trade me in for a newer and younger woman.  Just saying these words out loud made my fears dissipate.  It connected me deeply with my Twin to share such vulnerability and deep seeded fear of unworthiness and lack.

Fear is the voice that prevents us from being injured again, but it also is the voice that prevents us from moving forward in our lives. It keeps us stuck in the same emotionally wounded place as when we first were wounded by someone we love.  Facing our fears is the first step to dissipating this fear, and taking away its power to rule our lives.  May you overcome your deepest fears.  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Twin Flame Ascension

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My twin flame and I are working through the ascension process.  It has been very difficult as our emotional issues intertwine.  I recently began taking jazz piano lessons since I have been playing classical piano since the age of eight.  Initially, I didn’t really understand why I am taking lessons now, and recently, I  realized it is because I need to work through my fear of unworthiness.

When I was a child, my parent enrolled me in piano lessons, recitals, and piano competitions from the age of eight. I constantly was criticized for making mistakes, and being judged by parents and others.  I never felt good enough about my classical piano playing. Jazz piano is very different, in that it is free form.  Except for the rhythm and timing that must be spot on, there are no wrong notes to play.

As I journey through my jazz piano studies, I am learning to let go of all my fears, angst, and anxiety from childhood.  I work on these issues every time I sit down to play, as it is a moving meditation with Emotional Release Practice.  With hard work, I know I will overcome these fears within me.

At the same time, my twin is working through his fears of rejection and unworthiness.  Last night, I had to identify his issues involving his anger and rage within toward his father.  He is aware of these issues, but have not been working on them recently.  I saw his hardness and hurt within, and shared this with him.  It was a very difficult conversation, because I had to tell someone I love his deepest wounds and resulting behaviors.

With courage, he has stepped up to the plate and hopefully, he will persevere through these challenges.  If he fails to move forward, I explained that our union will falter, and he will fall into this deep darkness alone.  I have fallen myself into this deep darkness full of demons and karma, and vowed never to return there again. I am full of hope for my twin that he will overcome his demons, and heal this darkness.  (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Fear of Loss

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I believe everyone has fears of loss and abandonment, and that is one of my emotional issues.  My mother left me when I was one years old, and my father never met me until I was eight.  During my formative years (1-6 years old), I experienced abandonment.  After my mother and father left Taiwan for the U.S., I was left with my  maternal grandparents, and when they left for the U.S., I remained with my paternal grandparents until I was eight years old.  This left deep scars within me.

During my past life recollections, I remember my mother died when I was a young native American boy in another lifetime.  Yet in another lifetime, I recall my father abandoning my mother, sister, and me as I watched him drive away in his truck from our family farm. These traumas involving abandonment remain with my soul to the present day.

I recently  entered into a romantic relationship, I believe, finally with my twin flame/soul. These old memories and emotional wounds still haunt me.  As I proceed with my love, I fear him leaving me or loving another.  These fears still plaque me in my heart as I earlier attracted many other men who did leave me and love another.  This time, I realize that I must live beyond my ego filled with fear and doubt.

I currently use Observing Ego Practice to cope with these fears, but something is different this time.  As he has been away in China this last week, I am beginning to feel a shift within me.  I am missing him less and less each day as the week progresses, and I know you will think, this is terrible.  Quite the contrary, in my aloneness, I prove to myself that I am never alone and that I can be independent and care for myself.  I am freeing myself of co-dependency or attachment.

It is through unconditional love that I am with this man, and not because I depend on him for my existence.  When I am alone now, I know that my life can continue with or without him, and that all will be okay.  We can’t control when others will leave us, love another, or die, but I know I will be fine even if that comes to fruition. Even if my twin abandons me, I know my soul will still move forward as I am never truly alone. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

Working through Community Trauma

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As I enter my my second month of work at a new university, I have been observing signs of community trauma. I believe that every human on earth has unresolved trauma.  Trauma can range from experiencing a car accident to the death of a loved one or a divorce to childhood abuse.  Most people have unresolved trauma, and currently living with some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I believe our personal traumas can be further worsened or aggravated by community trauma, and those who have less trauma will further experience secondary trauma from others in the community.  Something traumatic happened to this community, and now they are operation 24/7 under fight or flight mode of existence.  These people must live such horrible existences in fear, distress, and triggered trauma.

As I enter this work environment, I am checking on my ego constantly as everyone is operating in perceived fear and crisis mode, and triggering others through secondary trauma.  All decisions must be made by consensus in group of six or more.  Nearly the entire university is operating its programs in fear or crisis mode, and is unaware of what is happening.  The students are feeling the distress, fear, and trauma too.

I have become the calm voice and person in the turbulent storm attempting to calm their fears and distress.  Outsiders who deal with us cannot understand why nothing is working and everyone is fighting amongst each other.  I try to calm their fears with much difficulties as each person is triggering others directly or through secondary trauma.

I asked the Infinite for help and what I should do.  I am told to love them despite not liking these people very much as they will distort the truth, lie, and cheat in fear of getting into trouble.  I am told that I must hold these people accountable for what they do, but must empower them to live at their highest potential.

My conversation with the Infinite is that I will try for one year to see how much progress I can make, then I will move forward to others who are ready to do the hard work of emotional recovery, healing, and growth.  I believe that I am destined to help those who are ready to help themselves.  I ask the Infinite for guidance, strength, and patience along my journey forward. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Until We Learn What We Need to Learn …

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As I began my  new job about a month ago, I have come to realize that many of the old issues are repeating.  I am seeing the same issues with different people, and the Universe has brought back lessons apparently I have not fully learned. At work, I am encountering people who do not take responsibility for themselves, point fingers, and blame others for their failures.

My supervisor is very passive and is terrified of offending others, and as I set boundaries and hold others accountable, she also blames me for attempting to set healthy boundaries.  The question I am asking myself and the Universe is why is this happening?  What am I doing wrong?  Why has she been sent to me?

This is the same dysfunctional behavior from my childhood.  The school where I work is filled with chaos, drama, and people behaving badly toward each other.  Why am I still attracting this in my life?  How do I overcome being around this bad behaviors without becoming part of these bad behaviors?

In my personal life, I earlier encountered individuals who behaved badly and created horrible drama through infidelity, cheating, lying, deception, and general disrespectful behaviors.  I have finally found people who take responsibility for themselves in my personal life now, and treat others with respect and with healthy boundaries.  But why am I still attracting these bad behaviors at work?

My guess is that I must transcend this bad behavior and must not feed into the drama and chaos at work.  I must rise above this chaos without being drawn into it, and when I do, I will finally be released from these people and no longer react to them.  I believe this is the reason that they are still here in my work life as I have not learned what I still need to learn.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

Loving Fearlessly

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When we live without fear, we are able to love fearlessly.  After five years of emotional healing and spiritual work, I finally learned to love fearlessly.  My fears of abandonment, being unloveable, and rejection are in my past, and I am living a different life now.

Recently, when I went through a box of old journals and notebooks, I found a page written in early 2013 about reading some books on Abraham Hicks on the law of attraction, and learning to energetically aligning with what we want.  Essentially, we energetically become what we want to attract.

Our aura or energetic frequency is composed of our emotional and mental vibrations.  Trauma, negative experiences, and emotional injuries create a certain vibration which attracts similar vibrations.  Many will meet or attract those who continue to abuse, hurt, and injure them, and cannot understand why this is happening as I did for a long time.

In this journal on this page, I found a list of things I wrote that I want in my life, including a loving, honest, and loyal relationship, a fulfilling and satisfying career, and my own healing and becoming my higher self. As I reflected on these words, I realize that I have received all that I asked for.

These miracles of finding my soulmate, finding a fulfilling job at a university where I am helping many students, and internal peace and love for myself are the results of changing my energetic frequency to attract what I want.  May you heal and attract what you want. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).