The Next Big Test

7ACA7802-0114-4724-93DF-E59F23B34E32The Infinite works in many miraculous ways. This past week was my big test.  I learned from reading an investigative report that many in upper management knew about a high-level manager at my work who sexually harassed four women over the course of 20 years.

The husband of the most recent victim showed up at the worksite threatening this high-level manager about sleeping with his wife. Many in upper management took action to circle the wagons, and failed to inform me as I have authority to investigate sexual harassment incident at my workplace.

Ultimately, these incidents were reported by an anonymous whistleblower, and finally investigated.  Even in the face of evidence of gross negligence and deliberate indifference by upper management, only a warning letter was issued to one of the lower-level wrongdoers.

Initially, I was very disturbed and upset about their failure to report these illegal sexual harassment to my office. However, upon further reflection, I realize I served as a catalyst to expose illegal sexual harassment as this dramatic confrontation occurred within the first six months of my starting this job.

At my job, I can feel the energy of those with whom I interact. I can feel their fears and that they are hiding something. Unfortunately, I don’t always know exactly what they’re hiding.  My ability to discern dishonesty has helped me navigate this hazardous landscape.

I have come to realize that the biggest test with which I have been confronted is my need to transcend my ego to see beyond my own hurt in order to help others.   Since I serve as a catalyst for change, it is not unexpected that my work is the subject of this fiasco.

My  purpose as told to me by the Infinite is to expose the hurt and help heal this place.   The test now is how do I go about this healing process, and become the conscience of this institution? Now, I face the biggest challenge  before me. (Copyright  2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

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Living in Light

FF145EAD-2B81-4BDE-B0D8-1BF2971C71A7I have been contemplating about enlightenment recently after watching a show about the Buddha mind, and realize that I still have a long way to go. As much as we all want to believe that we are awakened, there is still so much more work ahead.

However, recently I had a very small breakthrough. During checkout at the grocery store, the clerk assisting us at the checkout line called me “bossy.” When my boyfriend did not hear him clearly, the clerk repeated the statement again, calling me “bossy.” However instead of reacting, I continue to complete my transaction. When we finished, I sincerely wished him a nice weekend, smiled, and left the grocery store.

During this transaction, I did not react, nor did I judge him in anyway. In this fleeting moment, I had Buddha mind. These moments are fleeting in my every day life, but I continue to strive to live in light. I hope to have many more moments like this one in the remaining days of my life here on earth. (Copyright 2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Control versus Goal

I have been reflecting on letting go of things that I cannot control in my life. My intuition tells me when it is my ego attempting to control the events and people around me, it will feel irrational in many ways. When I am in this state, I ask myself, “why do I need to control this?” If I do not have a rational or reasonable answer, then I know it’s because of my ego’s need to control events and people around me.

Goals on the other hand are a very different thing. Goals involve missions, passions, callings, and the direction we wish to live our lives. For example, If I wish to attend college, then it is important that I take control and responsibility to apply to colleges, study and take the SAT exam, etc. When I asked myself, “why do I need to control these things?” The answer would be very clear. I wish to move my life forward successfully and I desire an education.

Control is a very tricky thing, and it is within our own minds that we must discern whether the control is for ego’s benefit or it is our desire for betterment of ourselves or our world. May you let go of behaviors that no longer serve the betterment of your life. (Copyright 2019 awakening journey with all rights reserved)

Clearing and Cleansing

For 2019, I intend to clear out the material things in my life to just those things that I need. I emptied half my closet to give things away that no longer serves me, no longer fit me, or no longer is needed.

The second part of my healing work involves cleansing my body for a healthier lifestyle to include healthier foods, yoga, and regular exercise.

Shortly after I emptied my closet, I am already feeling the benefits. This is the first night in a while that I have not had nightmares or stress dreams about my job. I really didn’t believe this would work as it seems so simple. However, it really wasn’t. As I placed my belongings on a large pile to give away, I felt a sense of loss, and sadness. It was as if I’ve lost something or didn’t have enough. For me, this was the reason for accumulating all of these material things.

I will be beginning my cleansing regiment shortly, and hope to reap the benefits of feeling more energized, losing some weight, and feeling emotionally lighter.

Every year is a new beginning. Every month is a new beginning. Every week is a new beginning. Every day is a new beginning.May you change your life one day at a time. (Copyright 2018 Awakening journey with all rights reserved.)