I have observed recently countless numbers of people emotionally reacting negatively to their life situations. For example, one student accused a professor of targeting his comments toward her in a class. Other people accuse and blame others for offending them and hurting their feelings. Please note that feeling offended or hurt does not involve physical or sexual assaults.
I too have fallen prey to accusing others of offending me and hurting my feelings. Over the course of my recovery process, I have come to realize what is actually happening to me and others. It has to do with the human ego and our perceptions of situations from the perspective of our egos.
The ego serves as a protection to humans as it triggers the fear response within us. Historically, humans needed this fear response, and the subsequent triggered fight or flight response to get away from dangerous predators such as a lion or tiger. However, when we have been traumatized by a negative experience to include sexual or physical assaults, our egos go into overdrive, and our fear response is triggered more easily with the subsequent fight or flight response usually translating into anger, rage, jealousy, envy, resentment, etc.
As most humans have experienced some form of emotional or physical trauma, such as death, abandonment, divorce, breakup, neglect, abuse, wars, atrocities, etc. at some point in our lives, our egos go into overdrive to prevent us from getting hurt again. When our emotional injuries are unhealed, our egos will continue to go into overdrive to protect us from potential or perceived harm. We call this emotional triggering.
When we experience these perceived harms in our current life, we will respond with fear, and the subsequent fight or flight response. We become angry, rageful, jealous, envious, resentful, etc., and then accuse others of our experienced negative emotions. The truth is that these injuries exist within you that is triggered. The truth also is that there will be many people who can trigger you, because these injuries exist within you, and not the result of external factors.
Once I realized and observed this about myself, I am consciously controlling my thoughts when I feel fear triggered, and I then use techniques to internally calm the subsequent fight or flight response and negative emotions. Most people respond without conscious awareness, and then blame others for causing the negative emotions we experience. We then try to control our external world by blaming others, and forcing others to stop. If you are reacting to any situation, then the emotional injury is within you.
Since these emotional injuries are within us, we must control our responses to these tiggers of fear that result in the negative emotions we experience. If you continue to respond automatically to others’ statements made, then you are giving away your power to whoever is speaking and triggering you.
The only way to take back your power is to observe yourself being triggered, then calming yourself with deep breathing, journaling, yoga, meditation, music, art, walking in nature, or other methods until these negative feelings pass. May you find the strength within yourself. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)